Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

Arod and Madonna make it official

Well not really. Arod and Madonna have long been rumored to be secretly working out or something for quite some time now. Now following the official announcement of Madonna's pending divorce from director Guy Ritchie, US Weekly tells us that Arod and Madonna are "definitely romantic". I literally shuddered when I typed that. This has been going on for a while now apparently. And to sum up the entire situation, I must quote the late Heath Ledger from his role in Ten Things I Hate About You:

"What is it with this chick? What does she have, beer flavored nipples or something?"

Seriously, what the hell is Arod doing. First off, he has more money that the gross national product of most countries in South America. He could get any woman he desires. Even though I get the sneaking suspiscion that he doesn't really "desire" women. But he chooses Madonna? According to her birth certificate she is 50 years old, but according to her face she died five years ago. Vanessa Rodriguez (Arod's Ex-Wife) was reached for comment regarding the relationship between Alex and Madonna:

"Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!"-Big Daddy

So before you know it, these two will be seen out in public and every single news outlet will use the same nickname for them. Like Bennifer or Brangelina. I thought I'd help them out by offering suggestions:

A-Mad
Mad Rod
Aronna
Anna
Malex
A-Man
Gross

Eh, that's all I got. Suggestions?

Mad Rod