Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

Headlines…

Marc Cuban charged with insider trading
"The Securities and Exchange Commission filed a civil lawsuit against Cuban on Monday in federal court in Dallas. The agency said that in June 2004, Cuban was invited to get in on the coming stock offering by Mamma.com Inc. after he agreed to keep the information private."
Oh, scandalous! My teacher was explaining how idiotic it would be to trade based on prior information. The technology used to catch insider traders is remarkable. NASA doesn't even have these resources. Although he hasn't been charged with anything, I wouldn't put it past him to do something like this. Also, I'm pretty sure he admitted to this on The Benefactor, too bad nobody was watching.

President-Elect Obama will "throw his weight around" for college football playoff
God I hope so. This should have been priority number one on his campaign. Luckily, he was elected anyway. He reiterated this point last night on 60 minutes. However, BCS coordinator John Swofford is quoted as saying,

"First of all I want to congratulate newly elected President Obama and I am glad he has a passion for college football like so many other Americans," Swofford said in a statement. "For now, our constituencies -- and I know he understands constituencies -- have settled on the current BCS system, which the majority believe is the best system yet to determine a national champion while also maintaining the college football regular season as the best and most meaningful in sports."

Swofford said this while on top of a pile of money and punching several puppies.

Jimmie Johnson wins record-tying 3rd straight cup title
Just to remind you, we are talking about driving. Something I do at least twice a day. To and from places. The only difference is, I turn left and right on my way to wherever I'm going. And I don't receive a trophy or milk when I pull into a parking spot.

Giants defeat Ravens 30-10
We all know that the Tennessee Titans are 10-0, but the Giants are unreal. They've limited Manning's mistakes by taking the ball out of his hands. Hike, hand off. Hike, hand off. Hike, pump fake, hand off. They should just put Brandon Jacobs under center. If the man really is Hercules and he just trying to fool us, he is doing a terrible job.