Deep thought
Is there anything more uncomfortable than pulling up to a red light and someone you sort of know is in the car to the left or right of you? For me, there isn't.
Yesterday, I was heading towards a yellow light. I knew I could make it, but I didn't want to risk it, so I stopped. Bad decision. Because first of all, it's a light on a street that crosses a heavily trafficked road. So of course, when this light turns red, you can just go ahead and take a quick nap. You'll be sitting there a while. Anyway, as I fiddle with my radio, trying to find something to listen to and to pass the time, out of the corner of my eye, I recognize the car to my left that has just pulled up next to me. It's my friend's car. I'm thinking "Perfect, I can talk to him to pass the time and besides, I have to tell him something anyway". I jerk my head up and prepare to raise my hand for a nice little wave I got planned. I look up, it's his mom. Don' t get me wrong here, she's a nice lady, I just don't know her that well. It's not like I'm all "Hey Diane (not her name), how's your yoga class?"
So, I see her, she sees me, and I give her the ol' let's-not-make-this-harder-than-it-has-to-be smile. Then I go back to pretending to fiddle with my radio. But, in my peripheral vision, I can still see her head turned towards my window. I don't want to turn back. There's nothing for me to say. Besides, I couldn't say anything anyway. Both our windows are up and it's 14 degrees out. If I turn back, they'll probably just be a lot of awkward smiling and nodding. Why is she still looking at me? The transaction is over. The appropriate smiles and nods were given. Anything else is not necessary. Awkward situations are only funny when you witness one. Not when you are apart of one. Especially when you're by yourself in your car. I have no one to empathize with me. I can't just turn to an empty passenger seat and say "Can you believe this?"
So, after what felt like two hours of her staring a hole through my window, the light turns green and I speed off like a drag racer. I drive way ahead so I can prevent another awkward traffic light stare down. As I look out my rearview window to see if I made a sufficient gap between my and her cars, I notice something blocking my view. It's my trunk. It's open.
Nice.
Are you there baseball? It’s me, Sean.
"Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on his smiling face a dream of spring"
Let's break it down, shall we?
-We're exactly one week away from the Super Bowl. A relatively boring Super Bowl at that. The Cardinals are a nice story, but they are not in a big market, lack serious star power, and could be out of this game even before the coin toss. Meanwhile, the Steelers are only one half of a good game. This game is missing something, and I'm pretty sure it won't find it in the next seven days.
-It's midseason NBA. The NBA is inherently lousy to begin with. Midseason NBA is horrific. Sure, every few weeks or so there is a matchup between LeBron and Kobe or the Celtics and the Lakers. But 95% of games on the NBA schedule are unwatchable. Remember, I say this as a Knicks fan. So, you have to take everything I say regarding the NBA with a grain of salt.
-College basketball has just entered conference play. Meaning, we are about a month and a half away from March Madness.
My friends, we have entered, sports purgatory. It's an awful place. Worse than hell itself. A place where no interesting games are played. The only thing we have to cling to is hope. Hope for Spring. Hope for Pitchers and Catchers. Hope for Opening Day. I am probably one of the few sports fans who considers baseball as my favorite sport. Many of my friends and classmates are more anxious for the NFL Draft than Opening Day. But for me, baseball isn't just about the sport itself starting. It's a time when the seasons change. Where there is some sort of rebirth. It's a time to start over, so to speak.
This sort of lull in the sports world is made exponentially worse when you live up north. What I would give to spend my life in Southern California or Florida. But at the same time, I feel that living here gives me a better appreciation for all the great things that spring and summer bring. But as of this moment, all of that appreciation escapes me as I look out my window. What do I see out that window? Figuratively speaking, nothing. I see nothing. Snow covers everything. No grass, no trees, no homes, no animals. It's a blank sheet of paper out there. Not to mention, it's freezing. I feel like I'm living in a Coca Cola Christmas commercial. Sooner or later a polar bear is going to hand me a Coke and wink at me.
Hurry up baseball!
I’m going 90 in a 65…
I consider myself a good driver. Let me rephrase that; I consider myself a great driver. I've prevented more accidents on the roads and highways of the greater tri-state area than power steering and anti-lock brakes. The amount of times I've avoided near disaster on the roads because of other drivers is in the hundreds. When you spend a majority of your driving in New Jersey, you wiggle yourself out of the tight grip of Death on a daily basis. Because as it's been well documented, New Jersey drivers hold the title as "Worst Drivers in America". I don't know if it's the smokestacks or oil refineries, something seems to get into a New Jerseyites' (New Jerseyian's?) DNA that causes them to have seizures as soon as their hands grasp the steering wheel. Because for the most part, people from New Jersey seem very well coordinated when not behind the wheel of a car. But strap a seatbelt on them, and they forget they have opposable thumbs.
As stated before, I escape Death routinely on the streets of New Jersey, but the other day was one for the scrapbook.
I was coming home from school around 5:30pm after having five very long classes. I had a bowl of cereal that morning, but had not eaten since. So needless to say, I was famished and in a particular rush to get home. That morning, as I headed to school, there was a relatively horrific accident heading southbound on the Garden State Parkway near the Paramus Mall (you know where that is). Around that area, the parkway spreads out to four lanes. But because of the accident, it had been cut down to one. This caused serious traffic. Eventually, I got to see how bad the damage was on the cars. One of the cars had been turned into an accordian. From the looks of it, everyone was okay and accounted for. Anyway, because of that, I was on edge driving home from school.
During rush hour, heading north on the Garden State Parkway isn't as bad as heading south. But there as two exits where the traffic gets really backed up. One is for Route 17, which is understandable. Route 17 IS New Jersey. And the other is for Westwood and Washington. Which I find odd because no one I know lives around there. No one even talks about that area. So I don't understand why people need to go there. So as I head up towards that exit, the entire right lane is packed with cars trying to get off. Naturally, I make my way over to the left lane so I can get by. As I drive by the exit, the car to my right swerves ahead of me trying to avoid some genius swerve into him from the right lane. I jerk to the left over onto the shoulder. Smart thing to do, right? You would think so. Except that I was approaching an overpass and if I stayed in the shoulder long enough, I wouldn't be writing this blog. As I see the overpass comes towards me, I jerk back over into the left lane. I straighten myself out and continue on going. It's at that point when your mind starts racing. The whole ordeal took about three and a half seconds. But not once in those seconds did I think. My mind was in the passenger seat while my body took over. But as I drove away, I thought to myself, "Should I stop? I almost died. What about the other cars? I can't just keep going." Luckily, the only thing I heard the whole time were a few tires screeching. No sounds of a crash.
The next day, I passed the exact same spot on the parkway. I saw a few skid marks but that was it. It's funny how one moron on the road can effect the lives of a lot of people. And I didn't even get hurt. Some people die because of the incompetence of New Jersey drivers. They really should be stricken from the road. They all should be required to take mass transit. If I ever die on a New Jersey highway, it can be ruled a suicide. Because its of my own doing to brave those roads. Anyway, I went off on a rant there. I felt it was needed.
I'll be back with more.
More things I have to do…
Usually, when people have their lists of things they want to do in their life, they list things like skydiving, swimming with dolphins, or seeing the Sistine Chapel. Me, on the otherhand have a very simple, very boring list. On that list are things like, eat a certain pizza somewhere or read a WHOLE book. The list is much bigger, but I won't bore you with that. But I have added one more thing to that list. I now want to watch every film that has won the Best Picture award at the Oscar's.
I was going through my favorite movies in my head and realized that rarely any of them have won Best Picture. Usually, movies that win that award, should be great movies that most people enjoy. And I consider myself MOST people. My favorite movies include Waking Ned Devine, Shawshank Redemption, Airplane! (you know it!), and many many others. And out of all of them, only Gladiator has won Best Picture. So I want to see what I'm missing in these so-called "Best" movies. Let's go through them, shall we?
*I'll start with 1939 because I never even heard of the movies that won prior to that year.
1939-Gone With The Wind: Saw it. Terrible. Just terrible. It's about 4 hours too long. Even the opening credits are longer than movies these days.
1940-Rebecca: Never saw it. Never even heard of it. Apparently it stars Lawrence Olivier. Interesting.
1941-How Green Was My Valley: Never saw it. Once again, never heard of it.
1942-Mrs. Miniver: Never saw it. Third times a charm. Looks like these movies didn't stand the test of time.
1943-Casablanca: Saw it. Ugh, awful. If boredom was in the form of a movie, Casablanca is that movie. A lot of people LOVE this movie. So I kind of feel stupid for not liking it. But even the poster bores me.
1944-Going My Way: Never saw it. I have heard of it though.
1945-The Lost Weekend: Never saw it. And I am assuming the majority of people haven't either. I read the plot though, looks good.
1946-The Best Years of Our Lives: Never saw it. And my sister will probably kill me for saying that. This is her all-time favorite movie. From what she says, it has everything. Comedy, Drama, Tragedy, Love, War, everything. And I actually have it on DVD, so go figure.
1947-Gentleman's Agreement: Never saw it. It stars Gregory Peck though. He must of been the 40's version of Tom Hanks. Constantly it good movies.
1948-Hamlet: Never saw it. But I have seen a million movies with a pretty similar plot. What I do like about Hamlet is that everyone dies. There are no loose ends, no cliff hangers, no wondering if. Everything solves itself in the end and you don't leave confused.
1949-All the King's Men: Never saw it. From what I have learned, this movie dominated the '49 Academy Awards winning Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Director, Best Film Editing, Best Writing and Screenplay.
1950-All About Eve: Never saw it. Finally, we're out of the 40's and there are still movies I haven't seen. I did see Father of the Bride though, which wa s nominated in 1950 also. I like the one with Steve Martin better though.
1951-An American in Paris: Never saw it. A Streetcar Named Desire should have won that year. Even though Brando is clearly an overrated actor, he did a great job in that one.
1952-The Greatest Show on Earth: Never saw it. It was directed by Cecil B. DeMille. He was the Steven Speilberg of the 40s and 50s, directing big budget movies.
1953-From Here to Eternity: Never saw it. I'm really hoping most people haven't seen the movies I haven't because this is beginning to get a little disheartening. Do I not know good art? I don't think so. I just think the academy did a shitty job picking good movies.
1954-On the Waterfront: Never saw it. Now this one, I know I should have seen already. I'm constantly hearing good things about it. But it does star Brando, so maybe I had a good reason.
1955-Marty: Never saw it. Never heard of it. 1955 was not the year for movies. All five of the movies nominated, I never heard of.
1956-Around the World in 80 days: Never saw it. Here's a little fun fact of you, there is a cameo by Frank Sinatra playing the Saloon Pianist. Wow, I just bored myself typing that.
1957-The Bridge of the River Kwai: Saw it. Awesome. If you think that Sir Alec Guinness is a one trick pony with his potrayal of Obi Wan Kenobi, pop this little slice of fried gold in the DVD player. You will not regret it. Just awesome.
1958-Gigi: Never saw it. I have seen Gigli though and let me tell you something, not as awful as you might think. I'm just kidding, that was a trainwreck even before the opening credits.
1959-Ben Hur: Saw it. Another DeMille epic. It's okay. My dad loves this movie.
1960-The Apartment: Never saw it. Which is suprising because it's a comedy and I usually know my comedy. It's also suprising that a comedy won an Oscar for Best Picture. Most of the time, the Academy likes to give that award to a depressing, drama filled, unrealistic biographical, epic mess of a movie. I guess they were a little giddy in 1960.
1961-West Side Story: Saw it. Well, I guess you can't say that I saw it per se. I tried to. It was on, I was watching, then I got mad, then angry, then annoyed, then hungry, then angry again, then I turned off the television. Too goofy for me.
1962-Lawrence of Arabia: Never saw it. It stars Peter O'Toole. Who is very very old now. But I don't care how good he is in this movie, nothing will compare to his voice over work in Ratatouille.
1963-Tom Jones: Never saw it. I'm guessing this isn't a biopic about the singer Tom Jones. Although the movie poster would beg to differ. Read the synopsis, it isn't.
1964-My Fair Lady: Never saw it. Stars Audrey Hepburn. Who was hot back in the day, so it's not like I'll be forcing myself through it when I do see it.
1965-The Sound of Music: Saw it. I guess everyone thinks it's good because of the songs. But I on the other hand resisted the urge to burn my DVD player everytime Julie Andrews opened her mouth.
1966-A Man for All Seasons: Never saw it. It actually stars Orson Welles, who I thought did nothing other than Citizen Kane. You learn something new everyday.
1967-In the Heat of the Night: Never saw it. This is the movie where Sidney Poitier says "They call me Mr. Tibbs!" And according to YouTube, Mr. Poitier predicted the election of Barack Obama in In The Heat of the Night. Watch the video...he doesn't.
1968-Oliver!: Never saw it! I read the plot! It doesn't sound interesting!
1969-Midnight Cowboy: Never saw it. This is the movie where Dustin Hoffman says "Hey! I'm walking here!" Which has thus spawned a few generations of people copying that very line except replacing the word "walking" with the activity they are doing. Next time someone does that, ask them what movie that is from. When they don't have the answer, call them an "asshole".
1970-Patton: Never saw it. Which is weird because I bought this movie for my dad a few Christmases ago. I didn't actually know if he liked the movie, or wanted it, I just knew he liked war movies. When I was a kid, I gave awful Christmas presents. I think Patton still has the plastic security tape on it.
1971-The French Connection: Saw it. Fantastic. If you like car chases, and gun fights, buy, rent, or steal this movie. It's from when Gene Hackman had lateral movement in his legs.
1972-The Godfather: Saw it. I am not going to get all cliche here, but this is an unbelievable movie. It's so good, that Francis Ford Coppola's daughter, Sophia Coppola, is considered a good director. That's how good it is. There was enough good in this movie that some of that good went to Lost in Translation when that movie clearly had no good in it.
1973-The Sting: Never saw it. Stars Robert Redford and Paul Newman, so it's got to be awesome. Newman could make a bad movie watchable. See: The Color of Money.
1974-The Godfather Part II: Saw it. Probably one of the few sequels that actually rivals the first one. Other's include: The Empire Strikes Back and Toy Story 2.
1975-One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest: Saw it. In my opinion, Jack Nicholson's best performance. I think that because he has turned into that character later in life.
1976-Rocky: Saw it. Obviously. If you're an American, or a man, or a person for that matter and you haven't seen this movie, go down to your local Blockbuster or library, break in, take it, and watch it. Then return it. Maybe.
1977-Annie Hall: Saw it. It's okay. It's just that it was different for the time. Woody Allen does his usual Woody Allen things and says his usual Woody Allen words. Not a DVD purchase in my book.
1978-The Deer Hunter: Never saw it. I read the plot, seems uber-intense. I like serious films. But not films that will strangle my brain and punch my soul.
1979-Kramer vs. Kramer: Never saw it. This plot seems utterly boring. Two parents, there is a custody battle, court gives kid to one parent, the end. That's not a movie. That's not anything. That's Mrs. Doubtfire without Robin Williams and all the hilarious hijinks that ensue.
1980-Ordinary People: Never saw it. God, unless you want to be depressed, don't read the plot. What is with the Academy and depressing films. Movies are meant to be an escape, not a replacement of different troubles from your own.
1981-Chariots of Fire: Never saw it. This is a movie I am almost required to see being that it is a sports film. Even if it's about running.
1982-Gandhi: Saw it. Got to love it. Gandhi. India. Oppression. Ben Kingsley. Good stuff.
1983-Terms of Endearment: Never saw it. It was directed and written by James L. Brooks who produced many a Simpson episode. So it's got to be good.
1984-Amadeus: Never saw it. And I have this movie! On DVD! And I enjoy Mozart's music! What's wrong with me?
1985-Out of Africa: Never saw it. Another Redford movie. The man has the Midas touch.
1986-Platoon: Never saw it. And I am ashamed of it. As a matter of fact, I am going out right now to buy it.
1987-The Last Emperor: Never saw it. Ah, the year of my birth. Surely there is a fantastic film to commemorate it. Nope. Even the other nominated films suck. Fatal Attraction, Broadcast News, Hope and Glory, Moonstruck, ugh.
1988-Rain Man: Saw it. Everyone has seen this film. Tom Cruise when he wasn't bat shit crazy, and Dustin Hoffman when he wasn't doing every movie that was offered to him. I'm pretty sure Last Chance Harvey won't be in my DVD player anytime soon.
1989-Driving Miss Daisy: Never saw it. Just an awful year for films.
1990-Dances with Wolves: Never saw it. I think the reason is, is because Kevin Costner directed it. And when you want to watch a Costner film, you have to block out a whole weekend because it's so long.
1991-Silence of the Lambs: Saw it. I'd give it a strong F+. I did enjoy Beauty of the Beast, which was nominated that year also.
1992-Unforgiven: Saw it. Any Clint Eastwood is worth at least one look. Which reminds me, I have to go see Gran Torino. I have heard nothing but good things. Well, I've heard nothing but good things about every movie out right now. Even Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
1993-Schindler's List: Saw it. I'm on a nice little run of "Saw It's" here. It's a depressing film, but that should be expected when you're talking about the Holocaust.
1994-Forrest Gump: Saw it. It's a good movie. But it's all because of Tom Hanks. I would definitely argue that Shawshank Redemption should have won. That movie changed me as a person.
1995-Braveheart: Saw it. Oh yeah. This is one of those movies I will watch everytime it is on television. Even if I am doing something important, I will stop everything, I watch until it is over.
1996-The English Patient: Never saw it. And I'm glad I haven't. Because from what Seinfeld has told me, I'm not missing anything. A couple people are in the desert. They do it in a bath tub. The End.
1997-Titanic: Saw it. Maybe if I was a girl, or a Titanic survivor, I would have enjoyed it more. But since I knew what was going to happen, wasn't interested.
1998-Shakespeare in Love: Saw it. Not a bad movie. Not a great movie. Ben Affleck's in it. Which is weird.
1999-American Beauty: Saw it. Probably the most overrated movie in film history. I hated it from beginning all the way to the end. And in between. I hate every actor in that movie even more just for being in it. Terrible.
2000-Gladiator: Saw it. Perfect movie. On par with Waking Ned Devine for me personally.
2001-A Beautiful Mind: Never saw it. And I clearly should have. Based on a true story. Russell Crowe. Jennifer Connelly (Slammin'!), and Schizophrenia. That's a win-win-win-win combination.
2002-Chicago: Never saw it. I'm not a big musical guy. I've never like Broadway plays and I am kind of proud of that.
2003-The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: Saw it. I've got two problems with this. First, it's 3 hours too long. And seconds, they gave the award to the wrong Lord of the Rings movie. The second one deserves an award just for the battle at Helms Deep.
2004-Million Dollar Baby: Never saw it. There are three sports related films that have won Best Picture, and I haven't seen two of them. Not good.
2005-Crash: Never saw it. A Best Picture film with Brendan Fraser? I'm pretty sure that guy hit his acting apex in George of the Jungle.
2006-The Departed: Never saw it. From what I hear it's the modern day Hamlet. Everyone dies. So I guess I can expect no loose ends.
2007-No Country for Old Men: Never saw it. One of my friends has been telling me that I have to see this. Well John, just bring it over and I'll watch it.
So that's it. That was by far the longest post I have ever written. Looks like I have a lot of movie watching to do. If there are any ladies out there who would like to join me in watching movies, come on over. And bring the movies.
Championship Games…
Usually with other sports, as soon as my team gets knocked out of the playoffs, I immediately switch off. I'm done with that sport. Like with the Yankees. Last season, they didn't even make the playoffs. So I don't even know who won the World Series. Football is different though. Even with the Jets and Giants out of it, I'm still going to watch. For a couple of reasons:
1. My brother (Larry Fitzgerald) is still playing. I have to support family.
2. I am a man and it's football. I am required by law to watch it.
3. There is absolutely no other (interesting) sporting events on today. Regular season NBA and Sunday college basketball games give boring a whole new meaning.
4. It's a good way to procrastinate.
That being said, the games should be fine. Not the greatest of matchups we could of hoped for. No Giants, Jets, Patriots, Cowboys, Redskins, 49ers, Colts, or Chargers. We have two nine win teams (Cardinals and Eagles) and two six seeds. It looks like the NFL is slowly turning into MLB. Meaning that the regular season is largely irrelevant in the playoffs unless you go into it hot.
Anyway, my picks...
Eagles over Cardinals
As much as Warner and Larry will try, they won't be able to stop the Eagles. McNabb and the Eagles are too loose and the Cardinals can't possibly keep this up. I mean, they won 9 games this year. They could win that many just in the playoffs alone!
Steelers over Ravens
Flacco has proved he can handle it. Whatever IT may be. But his counterpart, Roethlisberger, has been there done that. I make these picks because I don't think the country could handle a boring Super Bowl if the Cardinals and Ravens were to win.
It’s a Beautiful Day…
I can't imagine how many videos there are on YouTube. I'm sure the number is in the trillions. Or maybe even a number with an exponent next to it. Every day, people uploading videos of themselves jumping off their roofs, or of their cats watching television. I haven't seen every video. But I don't think I have to. I need not look further. I have found my favorite, and this is it.
It's difficult to put into words what Fred Rogers meant to television, society, and the world. With him, there were no hidden agendas or motives. All he cared about was the mental health of children. I'm sure that today there are still people like him. But to be perfectly honest, I don't see them. I don't see them anywhere. It's because our society (especially in television) shines a brighter light on the shameless and morally bankrupt. Seriously. Think of today's television. Is there any show that provides anything positive to the community? It seems like 90% of television these days' can go under the label of a "guilty pleasure".
I know right now I sound like a cranky old man with his pants up to his nipples complaining about how easy Easy Mac is, but I don't care. I'M ON A RANT HERE! It's tough to ask for, but I really hope there will be another Fred Rogers. Someone who uses the medium of television for good and not for his/her own personal gain.
I think I've watched this video 40-50 times since I first saw it about a year ago. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I do.
Shaving…
So right now, it's been about a week since I last shaved. Which isn't necessarily a long time, for me anyway. As you see, I don't grow hair on my face quickly, or evenly for that matter. I takes me about two weeks of not shaving for anything of substance to appear on my face. But when it gets to that point, it's frightening. There is hair growing more in some places and less in others. And gaping patches of no hair. I've always wanted a steady five o'clock shadow. The ones that some actors and athletes have. It seems as if they don't even shave. The hair on their face doesn't grow, it just stays at perfect length for their entire lives.
I've tried many times to grow something on my face. A beard, a goatee, a fu manchu, even sideburns. Nothing seems to work out. Maybe it's my genetics. But my dad has had a goatee since he was nine. So, I can't explain it. I guess it's better to struggle growing facial hair than having to deal with it everyday. Some of my friends have to shave every morning. That, I would not be able to stand. Sometimes I would say to them when they look particularly scruffy, "So you're growing it in eh?" They'd say, "No, I just didn't get a chance to shave today".
I'll be back...
I think I’m in love…

Last night, as I avoided watching Jake Delhomme throw his 19 interceptions, I switched over to the Travel Channel and came upon a little show called Man vs. Food. I've seen it before. A fat guy goes around the country eating food (and people say we're in a recession). The show is a little deeper than that actually. He goes to places where they serve A LOT of food and gluttony is encouraged. Anyway, this particular episode, he was down in Atlanta, Georgia and went to The Vortex Bar and Grill. The place serves everything a man on death row would want as his last meal. And by the sight of the photo above, you'd be dead before they strapped you to the chair. At the Vortex they call that "The Double Bypass Burger". Aptly named. The host described the contents as follows:
Burger pattie
2 fried eggs
4 slices of American cheese
6 strips of bacon
Lettuce, onions, tomatoes (how nice of them)
Two grilled cheese sandwiches instead of buns (This one looks like it has 4 sandwiches)
Ugh, I'm sweating just typing that. There comes a point when it's not a burger anymore. It becomes an entity. This thing has its own gravitational pull. I mean, look at it! It's offensive. A bear would have to unbutton its pants to finish that.
I love food. But I don't think I can eat all those things separately THROUGH OUT THE DAY. Let alone stacked up on top of each other. But I would attempt it. No doubt about it. I guarantee I will try to before I die. I have a rather extensive bucket list. Things on it include...
1. Swim in the Indian Ocean
2. French kiss a French chick
3. Eat and finish a Double Bypass Burger
4. Avoid having an actual double bypass
5. Catch a foul ball
6. Catch a fair ball (a bit trickier)
Among many other things.

