Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

Some thoughts I’ve had

At around 9 o'clock this evening I found myself watching Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel. I love that show. To be honest, I love most shows on the Travel Channel. I would love to eat the foods that Adam Richman eats on Man V. Food. Walking around barefoot, smoking cigarettes, and having an overall surly disposition like Anthony Bourdain does on No Reservations is like a dream of mine. And without mincing words, I want to be with Samantha Brown. But why did I find myself watching the Travel Channel when there was a game between the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox on MY9 at the same time? I'll explain.

-Because A.J. Burnett was signed by the Yankees to a 5-year, $82.5 million contract under the impression that he would be successful against the Boston Red Sox. And how has he fared against the Sox this season? In two starts and a combined 7.2 innings, Burnett has given up 11 earned runs, 13 hits, and 8 walks. Ah, quite the way to spend $16.5 million a year. Burnett better thank his lucky stars he lives in America. Because if he was a soccer player in Argentina, some fan would be holding him for ransom.

-Because David "Big Papi" Ortiz, who has been hitting well under his weight for the entire season, suddenly found his swing by hitting a home run to dead center off Burnett. The home run only made it 2-0 at the time, but once the ball left the bat, I was already entering "6-7-0" on my remote to change the channel. I know it was over then.

-Because the Red Sox have three players with a OBP over .400 and the Yankees have zero. Because seven Red Sox hitters saw more than 20 pitches tonight and zero Yankees saw more than twenty. Because Alex Rodriguez hasn't had a multi-hit game since May 25th and is batting .243.

I can go on for a while. The Yankees are 0-6 against the Red Sox this season and still are tied for first place so I can't complain. But if there is any hope for them to be successful in the playoffs, they need to start beating the teams that will be in the playoffs. That sounds dumb and obvious, but it's true.