U.S. Soccer advances to Confederations Cup Semifinal

In case you had anything better to do yesterday (i.e. Cleaning out your fridge, finding matching socks, giving your dad a tie for Father's Day), I'll break down the United States improbable advancement into the semifinals of the Confederations cup.
On the 15th, the U.S. squared off against the Italians, arguably one of the best teams in the world. If you remember, in the 2006 World Cup, the Americans nearly defeated Italy in Group play and settled for a tie thanks to an own goal. The match didn't start off as promising as the Americans had hoped when Ricardo Clark was shown a red card in the 33rd minute. However with a man down, Landon Donovan drilled in a penalty kick past Italian keeper Gianluigi Buffon before halftime. Then in the second half, it all fell apart at the seams. Translation: Guys with names that end with "Rossi" began scoring. Giuseppe Rossi scored in both the 53rd and 94th+ minute while Daniele De Rossi squeaked one in at the 72nd minute. 3-1 Italy final. Not the way the U.S. would've liked to start the tournament.
Last Thursday, our boys had a home game against the inspiration for the "Joga Bonito" ad campaign by Nike. That's right, Brazil. If you didn't know, they're good. They're very good. They're fast, strong, and they know it. To borrow another phrase from Nike, "Their better is better than your better". Brazil scored six minutes in and never looked back, defeating the U.S. 3-0. A scoring summary shows that the U.S. had only 5 shots the entire game and none of them were on goal. They did have a yellow card AND a red card. So I guess that's something to hang their hat on. The U.S. wasn't expected to win that game, but a goal would have been nice. Maybe even a slide tackle. But what's done is done.
Two games. Two losses. Two big losses. They can't possibly advance, right? Well, based on goal differential, in order for the Yanks to advance they would need to have beaten Egypt by three or more goals while at the same time Brazil would need to beat Italy by three or more goals. "More like one in a million." "So you're saying there's a chance!"
Fast forward to yesterday, Sunday. Admittedly, I wasn't watching. Believe me, I love soccer. I can juggle a soccer ball for a long time to prove it if you want me to. But I had just driven 3 hours back from the beach and the only thing I could think about was "pillow", "blanket", and "pants off". So I missed it. I wake up this morning and turn on SportsCenter like every other male aged 15-dead and see the scroll on the bottom: US, Brazil advance to Confederations Cup Semifinal. I looked at the television like a dog would when it's confused. Surely that's a misprint. It has to be. Looks like some heads will roll up at the 'ol headquarters in Bristol. But then came the actual highlights.
Even the recap was great to watch. From what I saw, everyone was getting involved. Goals by Jonathan Davies, Michael Bradley, and Clint Dempsey. Assists by Landon Donovan and Jonathan Spector. And I think Freddy Adu got someone a water. Terrific stuff. 3-0 over the Egyptians.
At the same time, the Italians were facing the Brazilians of Brazil. An awesome match-up on paper. A run and gun style of play on the Brazil side against an Italian time who is defensively stellar. And while the Italians out shot the Brazilians, Brazil found the back of the net on three of their five shots on goal and soundly defeated the Italians 3-0.
(3-0 Brazil) + (3-0 U.S.) = Semifinals. Incredible.
So what is their award for advancing? Oh just a match against the number one ranked team in the world. Those crazy Spaniards. Don't fret. This is exactly what the Americans need. Another chance to prove themselves against the best in the world. Some have argued that the U.S. have shown a lack of heart over the past few games. Well whatever they have lacked recently, they will certainly make up for on Wednesday at 2:25ET.
Write that time down. I'll wait...now look at your appointment book. Find what your doing at that time. Now tear it out, crumble it up, and throw it at a Spaniard's face (if you can. If not, find a Latino. It's close enough). And make sure you are in front of a television then. Who cares about the outcome. It's going to be fun.