Me personally, I’d take my time
Take a second to read this...
WALL STREET JOURNAL-In case New Yorkers needed another way to compare Derek Jeter to Alex Rodriguez, we've found something new. When Mr. Jeter hits a home run, it takes him 20.19 seconds to round the bases, the second-fastest time among Yankees starters. Mr. Rodriguez needs 24.94 seconds, the slowest mark on the team.
To determine which Yankees are the slowest to circle the bases during their home-run trots, Take a Number clocked how long every 2009 home run took. The average for current Yankee starters with at least 10 home runs last year is 22.1 seconds—all of Mr. Rodriguez's home-run trots were slower than that.
The average home-run time in the majors is 21.89 seconds, according to Marquette University data coordinator Larry Granillo. As a team, the Yankees are the 12th-fastest, edging the Mets by two-tenths of a second.
Outfielder Curtis Granderson is the fastest Yankee at 18.81 seconds, but that's partly because many of his home runs barely leave the yard—he runs quickly because he doesn't know where the ball will end up.
Most of Mr. Rodriguez's home runs are sure things. Maybe that's why he pauses for a second to admire them.
First things first. Should The Wall Street Journal even have a "SPORTS" section? Last time I checked, there were no sports being played on Wall Street. Must be a slow news day I guess. Wait, no, there's actually a lot going on in the world of sports. NHL Playoffs, NBA Playoffs, NFL Draft analysis, World Cup storylines, impending NBA free agency, Tiger Woods, among thousands of other relatively important stories.
However, David Binderman felt the need to ignore those and stick to what matters: The average time it takes individual Yankees to round the bases following a home run. And what do the times prove? Nothing. It's meaningless information. It's meant to imply and insinuate. Jeter rounds the bases quicker than most Yankees because he's an all-go-no-quit kind of guy. Rodriguez takes a little longer to round the bases, ergo, he's an arrogant sack of shit.
He even gave us a handy-dandy chart:
How handy!
And even if A-rod takes 2 seconds longer to go from home to home, who cares? Does it have an effect on the outcome of the game? Do pitchers really resent waiting an extra few seconds? No, they're too busy cursing themselves for letting a meatball float towards the fat part of the plate.
I don't care if you're a major leaguer. Do you know how hard it is to hit a 90-MPH fastball 380 feet away from you? Please, if I was blessed with the ability to do so, I would moon-walk around the bases every time I did so. Screw the unwritten rules of the game. It's a game remember?
In fact, I would pull a "Hulk Hogan" each time I walked to the plate. Putting my hand to my ear egging on the cheers. My at-bat music would be "I Made It" (see previous post) and I would LOVE the attention. Too many players go to great lengths to avoid the appearance of having any fun. Stone face, rigid personality, business-like all the time. Dude, have some fun. You're being paid thousands of dollars per plate appearance to FAIL 70% of the time. Lighten up.
NBA Playoffs (New York style)
I've made my loyalties very clear, I believe. In terms of my rooting interests, the Yankees dominate all else. Which is why I pay so much attention to baseball in general. I like to know who's playing well, who isn't, and who is likely to compete favorably against the Yankees. When in comes to generic viewing, football takes center stage. Personally, I'd rather watch a week 15 game between the Browns and Raiders than watch mostly anything else.
And then there is basketball. I love basketball. I've been playing it all my life and know all levels of the game very well. Especially college. But love isn't a word I would attribute to the NBA playoffs. Maybe it's because the Knicks haven't had the opportunity to join in the festivities in quite some time, but I feel it's something else.
Perhaps it's the length. Wait no, not perhaps, definitely. It's definitely the length. In case you were wondering, the Knicks ended their season on April 14th. Free agency doesn't start until July 1st. That's two and a half months of playoff basketball in between.
Does there really need to be FOUR best of SEVEN series to determine a champion? There must be a more efficient way. Now, this is the part of the post where I transition into a proposal for just such a playoff system.
Not here. I'll just continue to bitch and moan until the playoffs end and July 1st arrives. The day basketball will matter again here in New York. And it doesn't really matter who we get in free agency. The point of the past 3 years was eventual flexibility with cap room. The Knicks were so saddles with bad contracts (i.e. Francis, James, Curry), that there seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. But thanks to Donnie Walsh, New York has some wiggle room. Sure, two max-contract guy would be ideal, but is it reasonable to expect it?
Hopefully, Knick fans ARE more reasonable and won't get soured when James decides to take his one-man show elsewhere.
Video of the Day
12 games in…
This sucks. For the last 25 minutes I've wracked my brain trying to find something I should be worried about with the Yankees.
Nothing.
Well, that's not necessarily true. There are a few things. But it's nothing that cannot be worked on throughout the course on the season.
For example: Javier Vasquez. When the Yankees made the trade for Vazquez, I felt like I was the only one who backed it. I heard a lot of "But Melky was super-clutch for us" and "Do you remember what Javy did for us back in '04?" Yes, I remember. But if you also remember, he was asked to carry a heavier burden into that year. With the likes of an always hurt Kevin Brown, Jon "Who?" Lieber, Mike Mussina, and Lord-knows-their-real-ages Orlando Hernandez and Jose Contreras, obviously a lot was put on Vazquez.
And who really cares about the grand slam he gave up against Johnny Damon in Game 7 of the ALCS? The Yankees were down 2-0 and Brown loaded the bases before Vazquez eve got a chance to throw one pitch. New York was destined to lose that game. Javy just happened to become the scapegoat.
He's their fourth starter now. A guy who's going to get matched up against the Tim Wakefields, Scott Bakers, and Scott Kazmirs of the world. He can afford to make mistakes. And he won't make many. Granted, the National League is far inferior to the American League, but leading the league in strikeouts was no mistake. The man misses bats. His 0-2 start is merely a detoxification of his exodus from the National League. It's about him readapting to the AL. Which he will. I'm not worried. You shouldn't be either.
Worry No. 2: Mark Teixeira. 44 at-bats in: .114 AVG, .291 OBP, .205 SLG. Yikes. Big yikes. The man has 9 total bases. 9! Even Brett Gardner has 10. Sure he's bad right now. But this is eerily similar to last year. And the year before. And the year before. He's just a slow starter. Maybe he doesn't like the cool weather. Maybe he needs to get his reps in. Or maybe his steroid cycle doesn't kick in until mid-May (kidding). But who knows. I'm pretty sure by the end of the season, his numbers will be close if not better than his yearly averages.
This 9-3 start has been nice. I'd be surprised if they keep up this pace for long. Having 3 of your pitchers with sub-3.00 ERA's doesn't normally last. Having 5 everyday players with .400+ OBP doesn't normally last.
I'll be sure to panic as soon as they lose two in a row.
KFC Double Down “Sandwich”
I love chicken. I love bacon. I love cheese. And I love sauce. But something is telling me I won't be ordering the "Double Down" from KFC anytime soon. Maybe it's my kidneys, or liver. Maybe it's my children from the future who know if I choke this thing down, they won't exist.
It seems fast food companies have officially said "F*** It" when it comes to nutrition. You would think the movie "Super Size Me" would have at least deterred them from making artery clogging food stuffs and lean just a tad towards health consciousness.
According to the KFC website, the "Double Down" has 540 calories 32 grams of fat and 1380 mg of sodium. It's made of two boneless white meat chicken filets, two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese with the Colonel's Sauce. I'm having chest pains just looking at it. But those nutritional facts are tame compared to Wendy's Baconator Triple which boasted 1330 calories, 38 grams of saturated fat (the bad kind), 345 mg of cholesterol, 3,150 mg of sodium, and 11 grams of sugar. So I should be ripping Wendy's.
But no, I'd rather rip KFC. Why? Because of their clear disregard for health. The lack of nutrition in the Wendy's Baconator Triple is merely a byproduct of the food made up of it. KFC on the other hand made a conscious decision to forgo "goodness". Who needs bread when you can use two fried filets of chicken? Why did they stop there? Dipping the whole thing in chocolate would have totally put a bow on it.
The "Double Down" even looks like a bad decision. I'm surprised you don't have to sign a waiver prior to ordering it.
My new favorite thing
This is my new favorite thing. Everyone has seen those new Google commercials that go through a series of Google searches. It's basically a chronology. A guy needs to impress a girl, then needs directions to a romantic restaurant, then an engagement ring, then a baby crib.
Well, apparently you can make your own. Which I did. It's basically the same premise. Guy wants to take his girlfriend on a romantic getaway. And then it gets TOPICAL!
NOTE: You're better off watching the video on YouTube itself. The picture on my site is a little grainy.
NYC Subway gets Rick Roll’d
(The University of Oregon all male A Capella group decided to "Rick Roll" a NYC Subway from Chambers Street to 14th Street)
Fun, right? I guess. After watching videos like this, I always try to put myself in the shoes of the people on the train. What would I do? And like most of them, I would do nothing. I'd smile and nod and maybe even clap at the end.
But these guys chose the wrong venue (and maybe that was their intention). But New Yorkers aren't exactly the ones who enjoy something out of the ordinary. They like the monotony. So when those Oregonians started humming, I was surprised one of the locals didn't shank him. Or kindly tell them to have sex with themselves.
But it was clear from the get-go that these guys are talented. Not like those homeless guys who try to "entertain" you on the subway with their apocryphal tales of "Vietnam Wars". The nerve on those guys.
SIDE NOTE: If I was given the choice to have any talent, hands down it would be the ability to sing. I would be so obnoxious if I could. Singing while I worked, watched TV, out at the bar, at sporting events. I'd be the first one to sign up for karaoke. I'd sing to girls, old people, dogs. If anyone was in earshot, I'd belt out a tune.
Sadly, I was born with minimal ability to carry a tune. When I'm in the car, I sing with the songs on the radio. At the time I'm thinking, "Hey, I'm a really good singer". Then I shut off the radio and try to finish the song. OH GOD. I sound like two cats strangling each other.
- RT @bazecraze: Hey guys, if she was really into girls, she'd be telling a girl, not a guy.
- DiCaprio eats soup like me! Celebrities, they're just like us! http://t.co/PU8YT2fc
- RT @ChrisThayerSays: Oh, I get it now! Mister ”BELL-DING”...very clever.
- If you don't have stray cheerios in between the cushions of your couch, I don't trust your family.
- Hey Adam Levine, maybe she's not picking up because its 2012 and you're calling from a PAY PHONE.
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