Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

My Yearbook Quote: A Retrospective

Everyone I've ever met who went to college said the same thing when they graduated:

"It went so fast"

They go on and on about how high school felt like yesterday and that it (when I write "it", I mean college. Sorry for the interruption. I'm just adding this for my neurologically-challenged readers) didn't feel like four years at all. Not for me. It felt exactly like four years. Which is weird because I graduated a semester early. So three and a half years felt like four. Go figure.

Anyway, in an effort to feel nostalgic, I decided to crack open my high school yearbook. It's something I do at least once a year strictly out of boredom.

I think the yearbook means a lot less today than it did say, 10 years ago. I'm sure in the past, someone would open up their yearbook and ask "I wonder what this guy is doing" or "Where are they now?" Not anymore. With the advent of Facebook, Twitter, and the 900 social networking sites, you now know that the hot blonde you graduated with is single, working part time at the Dairy Queen and is currently "soooooooo hungover".

My favorite part of every yearbook reread are the quotes. They seem SO important when you're told to choose one during senior year. I didn't necessarily agonize over it, but I did think it was a big deal. I remember I wanted it to be inspiring, smart, witty, bold, and a quasi-premonition. I wanted people to think "Wow, he really knew who he was and where he was going". What did I end up with?

"Our fate dear Brutus lies not in the stars, but within ourselves"

That's right, when in doubt, pull out some Shakespeare. Now I'm not saying I regret my yearbook quote, I just think I took it a little too seriously. It really is just a quote. But I acted as if my future employers/wife/children would judge me based off the quality of a series of words I chose. In retrospect, I kind of wish I took the funny route. Something totally off the wall and utterly meaningless would have sufficed. And as I look through my yearbook, I see many of my former classmates had the right idea back then. They understood the pointlessness of the whole exercise and took full advantage:

"No shirt, no shoes, no dice"-Jeff Spicoli (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)

"Goonies never say die!"-The Goonies

"Don't act like you're not impressed"-Ron Burgundy

"I don't apologize. I'm sorry, that's just the way I am"-Homer Simpson

Ugh, they got it. I didn't. At least not as much. There were those who used their quote as some vague threat to any future adversaries. Some examples:

"A coward turns away, but a brave man's choice is danger"-Euripides

"Never do an enemy a small injury"-Niccolo Machiavelli

What's great is that their picture matches their quote. A penetrating stare with even the slightest hint of a smile. Classic.

And then there is the requisite quote that's in every yearbook since 1986. You know what it is. It's from that movie that's on every rainy Saturday on Comedy Central.

"Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it"-Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Sadly, there were only two of my classmates who used the quote. Disappointing really. It's an easy go-to quote. "Yeah, life does move pretty fast. I should stop what I'm doing and looking around. Got my quote!"

I wish colleges took yearbooks as seriously as high school's do. I would totally have my quote ready. But I wouldn't use some movie, or philosopher, or bible verse. This quote would come from your's truly. And it would be so long, they'd have to remove my picture just to fit it.

"Well, here I am. Four years from high school, four years in debt, and with seemingly no connections. After having "the college experience", I'm convinced that those eight semesters were strictly a cash grab for the university to whom I forked over the money. Looking back, I wish I went abroad immediately following graduation. I could have attained the same amount of education, real world experience, and connections, all the while making love to beautiful European women and drinking foreign beers."

It's a bit wordy I know. But I think I got my point across.