Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

2010 NFL Season: Week 1

Baseball used to be my favorite sport. I would dread the last day of the playoffs, even if it conincided with yet another Yankees championship (te he!). The offseason was agonizing. Nearly five whole months of either no baseball or meaningless preseason baseball. I would count the days until Opening Day. And when it came, I would skip out of school just to watch the Yanks.

Not anymore.

Sure, I still look forward to Opening Day, but not nearly as much. And I'm fairly certain any excitement I have for it is because it coincides with the unofficial start of Spring (any season not named "Winter" is a good season). That being said, those feelings I once had for baseball have long been replaced by football.

Oh, how I love football. It's practically the perfect sport. It has everything you could want. Star players, franchises rich in history, rabid fan bases, incredible athletes, insanely fat offensive linemen, and Sundays packed with entertainment. And all of that goodness will be on display starting at 9:00pm on Thursday when the defending Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints take on Brett Favre (and the rest of the Vikings). Oh boy!

Usually when I make my picks, I ignore the spread and pick the games straight up. Also, unlike other "handicappers", I do little to no research on the teams and/or the matchups. I rely strictly on preconceived notions, sterotypes, gross generalizations, and what I've seen on SportsCenter. So clearly, trust me, you should not. That not to say I'm completely ignorant. I do play fantasy football obsessively, so I know a thing or two about what players are hot and who to watch out for in terms of sleepers. But you've been warned...

Saints over Vikings
I hate Brett Favre about as much as the next guy or girl or human, but I say this without any bias or agenda. He's going to have a completely average year. And that's being nice. Can any reasonable person out there readily predict a year similar to last year's for Favre? He's one year older. And going from 39 to 40 is a hell of a lot different than going from 29 to 30. He has a bad everything. I wouldn't be surprised to eventually see on the scroll at the bottom of ESPN to read "Brett Favre, DOUBTFUL: Dementia". Sidney Rice is out for at least half of the season. Percy Harvin needs to take 65 Tylenol a day to fight his migraines and stay on the field. Favre is going to get desperate and gunslingerish early on and start chucking picks quicker than you can say "pain-killer addiction". I'd be wary of the Vikings this season.

Giants over Panthers
YEAH! New Meadowlands Stadium! It's the stadium without a sponsor and therefore, without a name. And that's actually kind of refreshing, because before you know it, Al Michaels will be opening up Sunday Night Football with "Tonight, the New York Giants host the Dallas Cowboys here at AshleyMadison.com Field!" But we'll see.

Falcons over Steelers
Can you believe that Peter King (SI writer, Favre caresser) choose the Steelers to win the Super Bowl? I can. Because Super Bowl picks are decidedly meaningless. Even if the Steelers DO win the Super Bowl, it won't be because of the reasons King states. Teams change too much over the course of a season. Players get injured, losing streaks, winning streaks, dropped passes, fumbles, picks, etc. By the time the Super Bowl rolls around, you're usually looking at a totally different team. And no Peter, that won't be the team you picked at the beginning of the season. Anyway, I like the Falcons.

Buccaneers over Browns
Oh God, what a terrible game. I don't even think their respective fan bases are looking forward to this. Wait, actually, on second thought, they are. Because there's a good chance either one of these teams could win and therefore be undefeated. Thus resulting in dreams of Super Bowl championships and sugarplums dancing in their heads. And...that's it, I got nothing else. Delhomme, Mangini, Raheem Morris, there's nothing left to say.

Jaguars over Broncos
Brandon Marshall: Traded to the Dolphins. Elvis Dumervil: Out for a long while. Forgive me if I'm not in love with the Broncos. But hey, they surprised a lot of people last year by starting the season hot and finishing 8-8. And also, never count out Tim Tebow. Say what you will, but the guy wins (with unbelievable talent surrounding him). So all they need is the relatively superb talent and they'll be fine.

Texans over Colts
Finally! This is the Texans year. I can smell it. Matt Schaub is a top ten QB. Arian Foster, Steve Slaton and Derrick Ward could be the best running back trifecta in all of the NFL. Andre Johnson is the best WR in the sport. And they have a very formidable defense. But you know the rest of the story. They'll score a lot of points, look fabulous for three quarters every game, and inevitably go 8-8, barely missing the playoffs. Also, pencil in the Colts for another 13-3 season (the 3 losses being weeks 14 through 17 when they rest starters).

Dolphins over Bills
Why are there so many Dolphin fans in New York/New Jersey? I know two Dolphin fans, and that's plenty. You live in the Northeast. Not only that, you could practically look out your window and see the New Meadowlands Stadium and you root for Miami? Let the New York transients who moved all the way down there to live among the Cubans and be on Burn Notice to root for them. Not you, you're better than that.

Lions over Bears
My hatred for Brett Favre is only rivaled by my hatred for Jay Cutler. He throws picks just like Favre. A lot of them (like Favre). Yet he doesn't crave the attention like Favre. He just wants to throw his picks and be left alone....Sorry, I lost my train of thought. The Bourne Ultimatum is on. That whole movie is heart-stopping wire-to-wire. Anyway, Culter sucks.

Titans over Raiders
It's a new beginning for the Raiders and their fans. JaMarcus is gone! And he's been replaced with a fairly decent quarterback in Jason Campbell. I'm hopeful for them. And I'll go as far as to say they might even go 8-8 this year. Tom Cable, when he's not sucker-punching his assistants, has been a relatively good coach and seems to have the respect of his players. And that's nothing to scoff at. Titans Side Note: Keep an eye on that Chris Johnson kid. I see special things for him this year.

Bengals over Patriots
Remember how I said I hate both Brett Favre and Jay Cutler? I hate the Patriots doubly more. I hate Bill Belichick. I hate their fans. I hate their owner. I hate Gillette Stadium. And I hate them just because. It's a sporting type of hate. Not REAL hate. But I REALLY hope they lose every game this season. They've had enough winning. It's time to share the wealth. So please Cincinnati, commence the pain. I want to see both T.O. and OchoCinco dancing in the endzone come Sunday.

Cardinals over Rams
Hey, it's two of the teams Kurt Warner left in his wake. One team has their quarterback of the future starting (Sam Bradford) and the other just cut its quarterback of the future (Matt Leinart) and is stuck with one-season wonder Derek Anderson. Both these teams are clearly in rebuilding mode. I think the Rams have a brighter future with Bradford, but with the ineptitude of the NFC West, the Cardinals have a chance to compete for a playoff spot.

49ers over Seahawks
Did I mention how terrible the NFC West is? Yes, I did, in the previous paragraph. Just look at these teams. They're both okay, at best. And both could win the division. Which is good for my dad. He's a Niner fan. And he's been NFL-depressed since Steve Young retired. He seems to be encouraged with Alex Smith under center and Mike Singletary play-calling. Oh, 49ers, don't let him down!

Packers over Eagles
If there's one thing I've been adamant about this entire offseason is that I believe the Eagles with reject trading Donovan McNabb. A lot of people seem to LOVE Kevin Kolb. Why?! What has he shown?! Ever?! Nothing, that's what. You traded the best QB you'll ever have and now he'll make you look stupid by succeeding with the Redskins (I believe). Eagle fans: You'll end up booing Kolb and it'll be awesome.

Redskins over Cowboys
Oh look! Everyone is picking the Cowboys to win the Super Bowl again! How original! This is their year apparently. Tony Romo will get better again, I guess? Wade Phillips will suddenly become a big game coach, right? Dez Bryant is NOT the next T.O (Primadonna wise), okay? Got it.

Jets over Ravens
Clearly a homer pick. Because the Ravens look good and the Jets look...? If Hard Knocks is any indication, New York will be loud, late, and obnoxious. So I guess we can't go on that. What we know is that the league's best defense got better. Pace may be out for the first few games, but Jenkins is back and the additions of Jason Taylor and Antonio Cromartie can't hurt. And yes, Revis Island is under contract and showing up to practice (good things). I'll be at this game. Just thought I'd mention that.

Chargers over Chiefs
My prediction for the Chargers: 14-2, out in the divisional round, Rivers throws 2 picks. Man, I sound like a broken record. That was prediction for San Diego for the past 4 years. But hey, I was close each time. By the way, the Chiefs look decent. Matt Cassel, when healthy, can play very well. I'd also like to see Kansas City do well. They honestly have terrific fans.

Until Week 2...