Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

Starting Over

I remember when I started this blog. I was in college. Rockland Community College to be exact. I was sitting in the library during a break I had between classes. And since there was zero chance that I was going to study, I decided to start writing.

I never really enjoyed writing in school. I found it very boring and time-consuming. Maybe it was because the teacher TOLD you what to write about. There were rarely any instances where you got to write what you wanted. But every so often we would free write. And that's when I thrived. I consider myself a funny and interesting person (don't we all). So I thought that if I wrote my funny and interesting thoughts down on paper, I could be prolific at it. I could write like that all day.

Writing means many things to me. But above all else, it makes me feel normal. When I can formulate my thoughts down on paper (or computer screen), I'm able to understand completely what exactly I am thinking. It's very therapeutic.

I live with anxiety and currently I am going through a tough couple of weeks. My mind has been racing non-stop every waking moment. If you have ever had anxiety, it's absolutely terrifying. You feel lost, confused, scared, out-of-it, unable to form coherent thoughts, feel unlike yourself and at times, crazy.

There is nothing worse.

Over the years, I have learned to deal with these bouts of anxiety. Whether it be by listening to a book-on-tape, calming music, talking to my parents and sister, or exercising. I've tired those things recently, but they really haven't worked as well as they used to. So I'm trying something new.

Writing.

It's helped me feel normal in the past, why shouldn't it now? The moment I need it most.

So what you'll be seeing over the next few weeks and months is A LOT of writing from me. I have a feeling that this episode of anxiety will last a lot longer than the others and I will use writing to help me cope. And as always, the topics I write about will range from sports, life, music, movies, technology, friends, family, and most importantly nonsense.

Thank God for writing.