I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm seriously slacking with these posts. A lot has been going on in my life. I have a job and a car and I have to pay bills. I mean, these are things that no one else has to deal with. So it's understandable that I haven't been updating this little old blog of mine as much.

That being said, this post will be enormous. I'll try to kill eight birds with one stone. I'll be live blogging my fantasy baseball draft which is set to begin in five minutes while at the same time discussing my night out, thoughts on food, love, and allergies. You know, the usual.

I won't time stamp each little tidbit because it's really annoying to constantly look down to the bottom right corner of the screen before every paragraph. My eyes just can't handle the strain. A dash (-) will suffice. Deal? Let's go.

-Let's see. I have the fifth pick. Eh. Obviously I would have loved to have the first pick. Mr. Pujols himself can carry a fantasy team just as well as he carries his own team.

-Pujols, Mauer, Ramirez, Rodriguez. I could have easily taken Utley, Kemp or Braun. But I decided on Evan Longoria. No fooling, he's going to be a super-stud. A fantasy juggernaut.

-I did little to no research in preparation for this draft. I'm essentially doing this blind. I know who's good and who's not, but I'm clueless on sleepers or reliable pitchers. This is going to be interesting.

-2nd round: Ian Kinsler. Full disclosure. I just made my first two picks from the comfort of my toilet. Hey, when nature calls, you have to answer. Even if it means placing the laptop on your bare legs as you taken care of business.

-3rd round: Zach Greinke. This draft is going a lot quicker than expected. It's nice when everyone actually shows up on the proper time. Too many times I've sat through 2 hour drafts just because a few guys decided to ignore their draft and not have the decency to put it on auto-pick. (This is clearly nerd talk)

-Remember that time when I said  I was never going to bars again? Well, I lied. But the sentiment still remains. With music that loud, how am I supposed to speak to girls? I'm not going to yell at them. Which is exactly what I end up doing when I'm at a bar. "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!" "WHAT?!" "DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?!!!" "THAT'S CRAZY!" And I can't dumb myself down enough for the vapid conversations that take place at these establishments. Look, I would love to get to know you, but telling me about your roommate makes me want to put myself in a sleeper hold.

-4th round: Jayson Werth. Solid fourth rounder in my opinion. Super reliable. Hits for power and steals a decent amount of bases.

-5th round: Johan Santana.

-6th round: Nick Markakis. Jesus, spring is here. Currently, I'm sitting at my dining room table with a pile of used tissues that's nearly covering my monitor. My nose is a leaky faucet. My lips are dry, my eyes itch and I'm sneezing every thirty seconds. All because a flower sprouted in my backyard. I wish it were winter. Just kidding.

-7th round: Carlos Pena.

-8th round: Adam Jones. I'm liking my team so far. A lot of power, speed, and a solid 1-2 punch. I have no catcher or relief pitchers yet. Those are late round pickups anyway. Got to stock the shed with some ammunition, yaknowwhatIsayin?

-9th round: Joakim Soria. Screw that philosophy. Soria is a relief stud. Low ERA and WHIP and converts saves, bottom line.

-10th round: Elvis Andrus. Ever go a whole day without eating? I wanted to try that today. Just liquids. I've been slacking big time on my diet. Last night I had a few Italian combo sandwiches. That's right, a few. And God are those delicious. Throw roasted sweet peppers on anything and I'll talk dirty to it.

-11th round: Rick Porcello. He went to Seton Hall Prep. I went to Seton Hall University. So I felt a connection.

-12th round: Russell Martin. Doesn't Martin look a lot like Russell from Survivor? And holy crap! They have the same name. Creepy. By the way, if you haven't been watching Survivor this season. Shame on you. It's The Sopranos and The Wire rolled into a honey wheat wrap and stuffed with roasted sweet peppers. It's that good.

-13th round: A.J. Burnett.

-Can you believe I went to bed before watching the best game of the tournament? And of course it was called by Gus Johnson. I'm literally kicking myself. I guess the highlights will have to do.

Click here to view the embedded video.

-14th round: Brad Hawpe. I can't bring the laptop back in the bathroom, can I? Once is ridiculous. Twice is...what? Flat out unacceptable, right? Screw it.

-Live from the bathroom here. I really shouldn't do this. Not because it's disgusting. But because of where I'm putting the laptop. It's super close to my no-no area. That can't be good. I know that technology has improved over the years, but I'm not 100% certain that I'm not microwaving my balls right now.

-15th round: Leo Nunez.

-16th round: Rafael Furcal. These are more or less the garbage rounds. But some would argue that these late round players can separate the men from the boys fantasy-wise. I disagree. Call me crazy, but I just don't think Jeff Niemann will decide this fantasy season.

-17th round: Mark Buerhle. Are there really six more rounds of this? Man. I got things to do today...kind of.

-18th round: James Loney.

-19th round: Michael Wuertz. I don't even know who this guy is. But he had a .95 WHIP and 102 K's last year. Good enough for me.

-Skip to the end.

-20th round: Todd Helton
-21st round: Justin Duchscherer
-22nd round: Jermaine Dye
-23rd round: Randy Winn.

Oh Thank God. It's over. That was far too long. An hour and a half. Now what usually happens is that I barely update it and I end up in dead last by the third week. Fantasy baseball is like homework.

With the way this season has gone, how can I not live blog Survivor? It's just too tempting.

Russell has dominated since Day 1 and this episode promises his boldest move yet. Let's see what happens!

8:03-In last week's episode, the tribe voted off John (the brain surgeon), which blindsided Shambo who believed they were voting off Dave (the tall, hairy dude). Very compelling stuff.

8:05-Brett just said three sentences. That's more he's said this entire season.

8:06-Uh oh! Mick told Jaison that Russell is a millionaire. Even though none of them need the money, now they know one of them doesn't need the money.

8:08-No reward! Straight up immunity! Survivor Bowling!

8:09-How'd I guess Shambo would be good at bowling? Wait until they get to Survivor Softball.

8:10-Brett leaving no impact. Stays true to form.

8:11-Russell out. Good thing he has 9 hidden immunity idols.

8:13-Jaison wins immunity. So Dave should be worried, according to Shambo. Is Shambo secretly controlling this game? No, absolutely not. Sorry I brought it up.

8:18-They're treating Shambo like a mental patient. "We're just trying to keep Shambo calm."

8:21-Is Russell getting fatter? With the rest of them wasting away, don't they notice Russell's mouth is covered in barbecue sauce?

Timeout: Thank God for TiVo

8:29-I'm completely clueless right now. I'm going to go out on a limb and say Shambo. Could be anyone at this point. Even Probst.

8:30-Russell just lost another vote if he makes it to the final two. Looks like Dave will have the opportunity for a shower. I don't think he'll take it though.

8:33-Russell thinks Brett is a threat. I'm surprised that they don't think he's a crew member.

8:35-"Even Shambo is getting a girlish figure"-my mother.

8:36-This challenge is clearly not fair for the 80 pound girls.

8:37-Brett wins individual immunity! Everyone, I'd like to introduce to you, Brett!

Another Timeout

8:47-Looks like sexy Monica is gone. There goes the eyecandy.

8:50-Uh oh! Things are getting interesting. Too much to type. Watch it yourself. It's not like I'm doing a live blog or anything.

8:53-Dave looks like Krusty the Klown.

8:54-Russell puts the immunity idol around his neck. My guess is that he doesn't use it. I think the power has gone to his head.

8:57-You have to vote Russell right? There is no way he uses it. Right?!! Answer me!!

8:59-Monica took her own life for the sake of the rest of the tribe. Russell's on his way down.

9:00-Pretty fair episode. Now I have to wait for Jersey Shore. Ugh!

Lets see here, I haven't done a live blog in a long time. So I thought a regular season game on June 8th between the New York Yankees and Tampa Bay Rays would be a perfect opportunity to do another one. Luckily, my local cable provider hasn't blacked out the ESPN feed. This means I get to listen to real analysis from Orel Hershiser instead of Michael Kay asking David Cone if pitching in hot weather was fun. Anyway, lets do this. And remember, I am all of the above.

7:08-I think there are nine people in the $1250 seats. An improvement.

7:11-A single between Teixeira and Cano for Carl Crawford. Is it wrong of me to expect a perfect game from every single Yankees pitcher? I don't think so.

7:18-Jeter throws away his walker and just gets the runner at first. Whew! Disaster averted. Luckily Derek didn't have to move left or right. If that were the case, it would have been a three run single.

7:26-Teixeira! On the Mark! Text message! That makes 18 HR. With pop ups turning into homeruns at the new park, I'm afraid to predict how many he'll hit by the end of the season. And imagine if he was on steroids! Well, maybe he is. Hopefully. Fingers crossed. Anything that helps the Yankees win.

7:33-This crowd could not be deader. It's so quiet, even though I am watching the ESPN broadcast, I can still hear Michael Kay doing the game in the adjacent booth. It's a nightmare.

Commercial Break Rant: Today I was in a deli in East Rutherford, New Jersey. I have been there before and the food is amazing. Just terrific food. My one gripe with this place though is the stupid names they have for the sandwiches. So if I see a particular sandwich or wrap I like, instead of ordering a "1" or "2", I am standing there telling the guy "Yeah I'll have Tony Soprano's Back Fat on a whole wheat wrap".

7:43-Jolly 'Ol St. Nick!-Sterling'd. 3-0.

7:49-I swear at least once a game the trainer, Girardi and the entire infield trots to the mound to check on Andy Pettitte. Anytime he moves laterally he grimaces and stretches. What a tin man.

7:57-Pettitte has 6 K's through 3 innings. Solid.

Commercial Break Rant: Is there anyway the new "The Taking of Pelham 123" is as good as the original. From the looks of the trailer, the answer is a resounding "No" and "Don't put the two movies in the same sentence again". That doesn't mean I won't see it though.

8:05-How long until somebody addresses this video of Melky Cabrera and porn star Mary Carey? Well, there isn't much to address. Still hilarious nonetheless. He doesn't speak English. She really doesn't speak English either. He's eating peanuts. It's surreal.

8:09-Single up the middle. 3-1 Yankees.

8:13-Gabe Kapler? Andy continues to show more signs of schizophrenia. 3-3.

8:23-The "Orel Report" was a complete waste of time. I don't think Carl Crawford needs to explain the ins and outs of taking a lead. You know why? Because there aren't any ins and outs. Objective: Don't get picked off. The fact of the matter is, baseball just isn't that complicated.

8:33-As much as I bash Jeter for his lack of range and overall defensive ability, that was nice.

Commercial Break Video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

8:42-Calzones should be left to the professionals. That's why I am not going to touch the Pizza Hut P'zone.

8:46-That last pop-up signified this entire game. Lazy and boring. I think the Yankees are already at Fenway mentally.

8:51-Another example of the ridiculous homerun problem at Yankee Stadium. Johnny Damon thought it was an out off the bat. 4-3 Yankees.

8:59-Phil Hughes coming out of the bullpen. So I guess the Yanks will be sticking with Wang in the rotation until he hits a 4.00 WHIP and sets some kind of record.

9:07-I love how the Yankees are basing their entire offense off homeruns. I am sure that will bode well come playoff time.

9:08-Hideki Matsui grounds out to second. That's his signature move. In videogames you have to enter a certain series of buttons to ground out to second with Hideki Matsui.

9:14-I'm calling it: Phil Coke blows the lead. Unless he's only in there for one batter.

9:21-I guessed wrong. Mo awaits.

9:32-I must tell you, this game is much more enjoyable because I am not forced to listen to Michael Kay. I mean, Chris Berman isn't exactly Vin Scully, but I would take him over Kay any day. How long until his contract with YES is up?

9:42-It's off to Boston. Should be a good series. Good live blog. Good night.

Click Here

I am live-blogging the Oscars for a few reasons:

1. It gives me an excuse to stop studying. Plus, the class is Sport Management, I should ace that test with my eyes close and hands tied behind my back and no writing utensils. Flash to tomorrow: Me weeping in front of a test I didn't study for and I have no pen.

2. As discussed in this post, my friend (this kid) and I have a little wager going on. We both chose a winner in each category and whoever has the most right, gets a free meal at probably the best restaurant in the county we live in. I'm doing this wager because I like to gamble, he's doing it because he's looking for a free meal. Poor kid.

3. And I enjoy movies. However, probably 95% of the movies that are nominated for something tonight, I haven't seen. I just don't have the time. Now if you'll excuse me, the Oscars are not going to live blog themselves.

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8:00-What the hell is going on? It doesn't start until 8:30? I hate Hollywood. I pay attention to you one time a year and you try to take every possible minute from me. Well too bad. I'll be watching the final 2:46 in the Heat/Magic game. And by the way, I know he hasn't even finished one season, but can we officially label Michael Beasley a "bust". I mean, relatively speaking he is. And besides, Rose clearly is better. I'll be back at 8:30.

8:31-Hugh Jackman's hosting. Never liked him. I guess that's because he beat me by a slim margin for People's Sexiest Man Alive last year.

8:33-Ugh, he's singing. Hey! Where did his accent go?

8:34-It's only 8:34 and I think Jackman has already realized he's made a huge mistake. Where's Chris Rock when you need him?

8:41-Someones is going to get fired for that curtain mishap. The recession continues to take jobs.

8:43-Look at all the talent on that stage: Tilda Swinton, Anjelica Houston, Goldie Hawn, Eva Marie Saint and a Leopard.

8:47-I think I picked Amy Adams because she is the hottest. But Penelope was a close second. Shit! My SAP button isn't working! By the way, I won't be live-blogging the entire show. It's just too damn long and my bed needs to be slept in.

8:53-Steve Martin probably is one of the funniest men of the planet yet he continues to sell out in movies like The Pink Panther. Peter Sellers is probably rolling in his grave. Wait, he's not dead? Well, I'm not deleting it.

8:58-If I were gay, I think I'd be moved. And I'd probably say his hair is FABULOUS!

9:00-Adapted screenplay for The Reader: She removes her clothes. They're still off. She's naked. She's still naked. She has no clothes on. She's naked.

9:01-Slumdog Millionaire wins for Adapted Screenplay. So far me and Luigi are tied 1-1 after three awards. This will come down to the wire, I can feel it.

9:04-Can we just skip this shit and give the award to WALL-E? Wait, Space Chimps is nominated? I rescind my previous statement.

9:08-Cue obligatory French short film. Can they do anything right?

9:10-Not only did that Asian guy win the award for his short film, he wins the award for person of the evening. And we're only 40 minutes in.

9:17-Some categories are immediately pigeon-holed when the "Academy" decides. Art Direction=Period Piece. Like clockwork. Score Update: 3-3. Still tied up. By the way, when I win, I think I'm going to order Chicken Parmigiana. I know it's predictable, but I'm guaranteed a good meal. Besides, it's going to taste even better considering it's being paid by Luigi.

9:21-The Duchess wins for Costume Design. Which means I'm down 4-3. I'm not worried though. This was one of those tossup categories. It's not like Luigi knows about costume design. Unless he does and has something to tell his parents.

9:23-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button wins for Makeup. I'm down 5-3. What the heck was I thinking? I picked Hellboy II: The Golden Army. I have got to stop being such a maverick.

9:29-It's we're how Mel Gibson has practically disappeared from these awards, he used to be a staple. Wait, no, it's not weird. He hates Jews and the people who decide these awards all had a Mitzvah at some point in their lives.

9:35-Ugh. Slumdog Millionaire again! These are the categories where I have to make up ground. Still 5-3. Frustrating.

9:39-"Ms. Biel would you like to host the Oscars?....No, the other Oscars... No, they aren't televised... No, no stars will be there...You're desperate? Perfect."

9:45-Looks at watch. "Well that killed eight minutes, back to the awards."

9:48-This is the time on Sprockets when we dance!

9:52-Jesus, more singing. Just hand out the list of winners at the beginning of the night and we wouldn't have to watch this terrible crap.

9:57-"The musical is back!" has now officially been uttered by a human. First time ever. Fantastic.

9:59-I never thought "I Now Pronouce You Chuck and Larry" would be imitated, but The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds aims to change that.

10:08-At the risk of sounding insensitive, they really should have given out a second place award for supporting actor.

10:14-Oh Bill Maher, you're so politically incorrect!

10:15-Man on Wire! I'm back in it. I knew I would win this. This film got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. And I want to be that French guy who the movie is based on. He's got gigantic balls.

10:23-I just realized that I see really shitty movies in the theatres. Especially this year. Zohan. Hulk. Indiana Jones. Infinite Playlist. I paid money for these films. I paid Michael Cera's hourly wage. I suddenly feel so dirty.

10:29-It's about time that "Boom goes the Dynamite" got a mention at the Oscars.

10:35-Slumdog, you son of a bitch. I'm back to being down by two again. This isn't good. I don't want to pay for his meal. I mean, I really should. Back in middle school because I was fat, after I would finish the lunch my mom would pack for me, he would give me either half of his food or five dollars, like everyday. Still, I don't want to.

10:46-Alright this show has officially gone on too long. I don't care what time it is in California. It's 10:46 here in New York. A place where people need to get their rest so they can run the rest of the country.

10:57-I wonder whats in the gift bags for the presenters. Probably Clippers tickets, a Mach-3, The Secret, things of that nature.

11:02-Jai-ho won?! What a suprise, considering they just performed it.

11:06-Neeson should've been nominated for Taken. He was a rich man's Jason Bourne.

11:16-Brooks passed away?! Real name: James Whitmore. Born: 1921 in White Plains. Go figure.

11:20-Danny Boyle (basically seated on stage) wins for Best Director.

11:27-Meryl Streep is like Tom Brady or Joe Montana. Been there, done that. She probably feels nothing right now. Meanwhile, Kate Winslet is Jim Kelly. Been there, never done that. She's probably shitting her pants.

11:30-Sophia Loren. I think.

11:32-Wait, Jim Kelly never won one. This is not how the script goes. Anyway, now we can hear her babble on about how much she is in love with Leonardo DiCaprio while her husband smiles like an idiot.

11:37-Mickey Rourke better win. This night has been too cookie cutter. We need some honesty. We need someone to thank their dogs; the real inspiration.

11:41-These are professional actors. But when you ask them to improvise for 30 seconds, they fumble over their words like third graders.

11:43-Sean Penn sucks. He continues to suck. He's terrible. We have got to stop encouraging him. He needs to be stopped.

11:53-Best Picture: Slummy Dog

Okay, so I'm probably going to have to pay for Luigi's meal. I didn't exactly tally the votes, but I am pretty sure I lost. He won because of those BS categories. I still think I know more about movies than he does. His favorite movie is Weekend at Bernie's for Christ's sake.

See you in the morning.

Yawn. Just another day as a Yankee fan. Today, in about 31 minutes, the Yankees will be introducing their first baseman for the next eight years. Price tag: $180 million. Seems like a bargain. After New York acquired both Sabathia and Burnett via trade, I thought there was no way they could even attempt signing Teixeira. Both its official, the Yankees have no budget. Which I'm happy about. I enjoy watching my team win. Anyway, I'll be live blogging the news event because I have nothing else to do. My spring semester begins next Monday, so I have some time to kill. Let's do this.

1:00-Watching Michael Kay in HD is down right frightening. The man has one of the biggest noggin's in the business. No wonder he didn't ever play baseball. They didn't have a hat big enough.

1:02-Boras sighting. It's easy to spot him on the dais, he's the one choking a puppy.

1:05-They must keep Hank locked up during these press conferences. God knows what he would say if he got behind that podium. "Thank you Mark for being here, those Red Sox can suck my dick. Thank You."

1:09-The pressure is clearly on Girardi. Didn't make the playoffs last year. Three new high priced free agents. New York City. He must wear a diaper 24/7.

1:10-He's wearing number 25. You're telling me Giambi isn't coming back?! No!!!!

1:14-Mark looks good in pinstripes. Well, everyone looks good in pinstripes. Except Carl Pavano, Randy Johnson, Kevin Brown, Kei Igawa, and many others.

1:19-Ooo! Cashman gave Mark a mix tape. No wonder he signed with the Yanks.

1:22-Well that concludes the "formal" portion of the press conference. Now begins about 600 interviews for Teixeira. He just might earn that $180 million today.

1:27-For a major signing, this conference/interview is really boring. Maybe because I'm used to it. This is the second one of these this offseason. I guess the Yanks need to sign Pujols for me to be interested.

1:30-The answer to the question of where should Teixeira hit, it's fourth. No discussion. Arod needs as much protection as he can get. The way to offset a mental case is to put a stable player behind him. Lord knows Arod wants a player like Teixeira behind him. (double entendre intended)

1:33-Hal Steinbrenner is the most defensive owner in sports. He's like a little kid. "C'mon, we wanted Mark. He's really good and we have money. Shut up. He's really cool and awesome. Leave me alone."

1:38-Where the hell does Randy Levine vacation? The sun? The man is a shade of red found only on tomatoes.

1:42-Big fan of Leigh Teixeira. Cute, southern. And she could probably play first better than Giambi.

Alright that's enough. I don't want to hear about baseball until pitchers and catchers report. Until then it's NFL playoffs, college basketball, and maybe a little NBA. Who knows?

The Panthers and Giants are both looking for the number seed in the NFC. A win does that. Should be competitive.

8:27-40 yard completion to Domenik Hixon on 3rd and long. Few people remember that Hixon was the return man who was hit by Kevin Everett that ended his career. Apparently, he went through a lot of depression following the hit, putting the blame on himself. Nice to see that both are doing well.

8:30-John Carney kicks a 32 yard field goal. 3-0 Giants. Carney is so old, he played football at Notre Dame when they were good. He's so old, he played for the Los Angeles Rams. Don't forget, he was the goat for one of the most improbable plays ever.

Click here to view the embedded video.

8:36-I actually started Jake Delhomme early in the year for my fantasy team. Speaking of which, I won. Unless Mason Crosby kicks nine 50+ yard field goals tomorrow night against the Bears.

8:40-DeAngelo Williams scores on a 13 yard run up the middle. 7-3 Panthers.

8:45-Who's the most frightening man in the NFL? Ray Lewis? Justin Tuck? Julius Peppers? Criminal charges aside, I'm sure its some no-name offensive lineman whose 6'8, 375 lbs. Those are some unhealthy measurements, for everyone.

8:50-I didn't even realize, THERE ARE TWO STEVE SMITH'S PLAYING TONIGHT! Ugh, I feel like Mike Lupica.

8:53-End of 1st Quarter: Panthers 7-3.

8:57-Brandon Jacobs scores on a three yard run up the middle. Giants 10-7.

8:59-I'm really glad I got my Christmas shopping out of the way. And I'm happy that I've narrowed down the amount of people I have to give presents to, to three. Mother, Father, Sister. I would gladly fit in "Girlfriend" in to that mix, but you know, the economy.

9:07-Steve Smith (Carolina) with ANOTHER reception. I'm sick of these diminutive athletes who have so much success. Dustin Pedroia, Steve Smith, Allen Iverson, Wayne Rooney. My thinking is, you're short, don't get into sports. Even if you're good at it. You're making the rest of us wannabe athletes look bad.

9:11-DeAngelo Williams with a 5 yard run up the middle. Panthers 14-10

9:20-Steve Smith with a 7 yard reception for a touchdown...Scratch that, it's being challenged. So lets go to another commercial shall we? Good thing these commercials don't have any effect on me. He went to Jared!

9:24-Touchdown vetoed down by the crew. Ball is being placed on the ( ) line. It's THAT close. Fingers together.

9:26-Moot point. Williams scores AGAIN up the middle. Three touchdowns already. 21-10 Panthers.

9:30-Are the Panthers really putting up a fight? That's cute. Who knows, maybe they'll win and get the number one seed. But I really don't see them doing anything in the playoffs. And I have zero stats to back that up. Just a feeling. Kind of like the way Joe Torre manages; no stats, just feelings.

9:34-Shouldn't the blimp show sites around the stadium? Rockefellar Stadium and the Brooklyn Bridge aren't exactly NEAR the Meadowlands. I think they should show the Secaucus Train Junction or the Jersey Turnpike. True New Jersey landmarks.

9:39-John Carney sets up for another field goal. Panthers 21-13

9:43-Looks as if the Panthers are going to let the clock run out. Eventful half. Four rushing touchdowns. Two field goals. Riveting stuff. I'm riveted. I guess I'm just bitter about the Jets. 0-4 when travelling to the west. Mark of a champion. Half: Panthers 21-13

10:02-Can we officially name the Giants home jersey as "the most boring uniform in sports"? I say we do. It's just blue. No decals, no logos, no nothing. A lot of uniforms are ugly, but at least they're interesting. This is just blue.

10:09-If this game gets any livelier a funeral is going to break out. C'mon G-men! Make it interesting. I need something to hang my hat on for a wasted day watching football. These are the verbs I did today: Shoveled, Ate, Sat, Watched, Typed, Bathroomed (keeping it clean), Thought (Maybe). Good day. I need a job.

10:19-Is there a better job than backup quarterback? What the hell is David Carr doing right now? Holding a clipboard, wearing a headset that's probably not hooked up to anything, and cheering his teammates. Backup QB: No glory, No Problem.

10:21-Kevin Boss TD reception. Panthers 21-20.

10:33-Williams again. Touchdown. That's four of them. That's more touchdowns than the Jets had points today. Panthers 28-20

10:41-When Derrick Ward goes to another team via free agency, he should give half his signing bonus to Brandon Jacobs. Without him, he's nothing. 137 yards tonight. If Jacobs doesn't play, Ward doesn't touch a hundred.

10:46-Feagles punted the ball to the 1 yard line for 456th time in his career. What a skill to have. A skill that can make you $1 million+ a year. Me? I can make chicken piccata.

10:58-Clear pass interference on Ken Lucas. He was practically dry-humping him the whole route.

10:59-Jacobs up the middle for the touchdown. 3:00+ minutes left. 28-26. Time for two. CONVERTED! Tied up 28-28.

11:08-Be right back. Heart in throat. We gots da good game going on.

11:12-Looks like its going to be a 50 yarder for John Casay with :09 left on the clock. For the #1 seed.

11:14-NO GOOD! OT! MAYBE! :04 LEFT!

11:15-The Coin Toss. A significant competitive advantage decided on George Washington's head. God I love the NFL.

11:19-Giants win the toss. Elect to receive. Obviously. Touchback.

11:25-Back to Back punts. McQuarters almost made me shit nickels with that miffed punt. Luckily he recovered. Giants ball.

11:27-Derrick Ward with a 51 yard run. Only a matter of time now.

11:29-Derrick Ward with another long run. To the Panthers 20 yard line. 198 yards for Ward. Unbelievable.

11:32-Derrick Ward 18 yard run. 1st and Goal.

11:33-Jacobs for the TD. Giants win and clinch home field throughout the playoffs. I'm sure Ward loves that. 216 yards for Ward and zero touchdowns. Jacobs three. Looks like I'll be rooting for the Giants this playoffs. I'm excited. Somewhere Plaxico Burress is brandishing a weapon. Good Night!

12:01-Lidge makes quick work of the Rays and the Phillies take Game 1. Now, the series gets interesting. Shields and Myers will go tomorrow. Advantage: Rays. Should be fun...

11:56-WOW! Has anyone ever hit that slider? Oh yeah, Pujols.

11:51-We're going to the bottom of the ninth. Lidge is coming in. 3-2 Phillies.

11:44-Mission Accomplished! For good measure he argues a called third strike that would have been at the center of ANY umpire's strike zone.

11:43-Ryan Howard up, looking to leave a small nation on the small base paths this evening.

11:36-Crikey! Balfour throws nothing but fastballs. And Jayson Werth catches on and rips a double down the right field line.

11:32-Upton strikes out. End 8th. 3-2 Phillies.

11:27-Why does every person in the stands have credentials around their neck? Is that how they distribute World Series tickets? Is everyone a VIP? Weird.

11:20-Grant Balfour yelling at himself for getting a 1-2-3 inning.

11:13-Excluding Jay Glazer's crazy stories, the Fox NFL Pregame show could be one of the best things on television. A bunch of easily mockable personalities who give pertinent information and seem to genuinely have a good time while working. On the other hand, you have the CBS NFL Pregame show. A bunch of easily mockable personalities who give unasked-for opinions and are constantly worried about the way each of them looks.

11:00-This could be the most boring 3-2 Game 1 World Series game ever. Whether it's the lack of superstar names or the feigned support from the Ray fans, I'm getting nothing from this game.

10:50-Fox should really do more of conversations between the players, coachers, and umpires thing. It's real insight into the game. Not Tim McGarver babble on about something he's been detached from for 40 years.

10:44-End 6th. 3-2 Phillies.

10:41-Hamels balks his way out of a man at first. One out. (umpires never pay attention to that (same with check swings))

10:34-If i guessed what the President of Taco Bell looked like, that guy would be my pick. Did not expect the Australian accent though.

10:34-I never noticed Kazmir's playoff beard. He must have been growing it since spring training.

10:24-Iwamura doubles in Bartlett. 3-2 Phillies.

10:23-Jason Bartlett is now a hero to all fat, cheap Americans. I wonder if we can get a Volcano Taco?

10:17-I wonder what inning it is when they have the Rays Dance Team fire t-shirts into the stands like a Durham Bulls game. Pathetic.

10:08-I don't believe there are that many fans who are disgusted by the umpire's calls. I just think its one guy who's paying attention and his noises are resonating around the dome like a seashell.

10:00-Fox interview with Joe Maddon....oooo weeeee oooo I look just like Buddy Holly

9:54-Carl Crawford hit a homerun to right center. 3-1. Hamels will take it.

9:53-Carlos Pena has a dinner date at 11:00. Grounds out to first.

9:49-S-Kaz strikes out J-Roll to end the inning. 3-0 Phillies.

9:39-B.J. Upton should change his name to D.P. Upton. Too easy?

9:37-Bases loaded for the Rays. 1 out in the bottom of the 3rd. Upton up.

9:33- It's clear the Rays fans are only now experimenting with rally chants. "How can I effectively rouse the spirts of my team?" ponders the Tampa Bay C.P.A in row 1. 'I know "Lets Go Rays!"' Guys we are crushing it!-Guest Post.

9:31-I wonder what Cole Hamels thinks about the fact that Jeff Probst has seen his wife nude. http://survivor12.blogspot.com/2006/06/heidi-strobel-update.html  It must be what fires him up every time he pitches.

9:26-Is it just me, or have Joe Buck and Tim McCarver become white noise? Everything they say is so cookie cutter, it feels like a video game. "Strike three! And the visitors are coming to bat."

9:20-Jayson Werth doubles down the line. Is it time for David Price and his 7 innings of major league experience?

9:14-I feel like I'm watching a mid-June interleague game between two teams fighting for third place in their respective divisions. I know that both the Phillies and Rays defeated all comers, it just feels like this was a weak year for Major League Baseball. I mean, ANY other World Series winner over the past 20 years could beat either of these teams. Except the 2006 Cardinals.

9:08-Kazmir gets bailed out by B.J. Upton. 3 out. Mid 2nd 2-0 Phillies.

9:00-Looks like Kazmir is starting to unravel. I bet those Mets fans are happy they traded him now.

8:50-I'm Evan Longoria, leftfield, batting fourth, and my favorite player is Derek Jeter.

8:45-Utley, hits one deep to right, OUTTA HERE! 2-0 Phillies.

8:42-A heavy shift for Chase Utley. Boy that Joe Maddon is unconventional.

8:33-This amount of commercials is insulting. I mean who do these companies think I am? Some gullible, naive, lemming who.....Oh look, Frank Caliendo. That young man is talented.

8:31-Mike Schmidt got to Shane Victorino in the lineup and almost broke down. Phillies' fans are probably booing him in their homes.

8:20 — I've just been handed a note from Tropicana Field. "While the Backstreet Boys are singing the Star Spangled Banner on the field, beer and popcorn service in Section 213 will be suspended until they can get back up there."-VIA DEADSPIN

8:18-BACKSTREET'S BACK! I can't tell which one's missing. Where's Aaron Carter? Anyway, they are butchering the national anthem. I don't think they realize that the Trop isn't filled with 40,000 screaming girls. Or maybe it is? If they pulled this crap at Yankee Stadium or Fenway, they would be dead before they got to the dugout.

8:13-It's nice that most of the seats at the Trop will be used in the correct way and not in the upright and locked position.

8:09-Steal a base. Win a Taco. So I guess Fox has the "Fat" demographic for Game 1.