Go to the 0:52 mark. Wow. Talk about avoiding the question.

Major League Baseball announced earlier today that Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder, Manny Ramirez tested positive for a banned substance and will serve a 50-game suspension effective immediately. There is still speculation as to whether the substance was specifically a steroid or just a banned substance. Ramirez and his agent Scott Boras contend it was a medication that was prescribed by a doctor. Here is the statement from Manny Ramirez:

"Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I've taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons. I want to apologize to Mr. McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, Mr. Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I'm sorry about this whole situation."

The 50-game suspension will cost him $7.7 million, which is roughly 30% of his base salary. The suspension with also cost the Dodgers their best hitter and biggest attraction.

Yawn. Wake me up when a star player DOESN'T test positive for a substance. Putting aside the fact that I predicted this (see last line), this story is far from shocking. If this is some odd attempt by Ramirez to get back in the news, he's a little late. That ship sailed months ago. The baseball-loving public has gone threw this, it seems dozens of times before. Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Rafeal Palmeiro, Eric Gagne, Gary Sheffield, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Jason Giambi, Alex Rodriguez and many more. It's getting boring. I'm bored now. If anyone is shocked by this, they need to get themselves out from beneath the covers and get their head checked.

I am at the point when I believe that in the era between 1992 and now, every single player was on something. Steroids, performance enhancing drugs, amphetamines, creatine, insulin, glycogen, shark urine, horse ejaculate, pot, coke, speed, heroine, speed, uppers, downers, fixers, the blue pill, something. The era was saturated with players who stopped at nothing to gain some sort of an edge. And who can blame them? There was no test for anything and players were essentially held to the honor system. The bigger question is: Have we reached the end of the steroid era or are we in the middle of something that will never stop? This Manny "shocker" begs to the latter.

Whether or not this substance was prescribed or not, whether it was a steroid or not, whether it was banned substance or not is irrelevant. Ramirez was caught cheating in the eyes of Major League Baseball and the public, even after he saw scores of his fellow players who did the same ridiculed, humiliated, and ostracized by the media. Let's say it comes out that Manny was telling the truth. That this substance really was prescribed by a doctor. How does he not double-check with the union before physically taking it? Maybe he thought "I have taken lots of drugs to help myself heal over the years. I don't need to check." If that is the case, does this banned substance list cover nearly as much as it should? Or are baseball's attempts to rid the sport of drug use futile? Ramirez didn't even THINK about consulting with the player's association. It didn't even cross his mind. If he were in inject/ingest/swallow anything without thinking about the consequences, what else has he been taking? Not only that, who else has been doing it? There are thousands of "performance enhancing substances" that are not on the banned substance list. With the laissez-faire attitude at which Manny Ramirez took this mystery substance, who is to say the rest of the league is not doing the same? It doesn't matter though. We as a society have become numb to BREAKING NEWS stories about athletes who use performance enhancing drugs. At first, we would be shocked and devastated by the news. We would question their motives, their integrity, and their Hall of Fame status. The story would last for days, even months. The actual sport would take a back seat. Now, I am changing the channel right after I hear, "Big story. The player who tested positive for...". Click. I have better things to worry about. If this is what sports is going to become, a freak show with a bunch of amoral, egotistical, athletic juice-heads; so be it. I used to care about these steroid stories. Not anymore. If you want to inject yourself in the testicles with grizzly bear sweat before pitching game seven, knock yourself out.

Who's next?

By the way, A.J. Daulerio and Deadspin should have an increased credit score.

Cabrera takes advantage of miscues, wins Masters
Contrary to what I said yesterday, I actually did watch the final round of the Masters. And I'm glad I did. Not only did Mickelson and Woods stage a maginificant comeback only to come up short, Kenny Perry had a terrific chokejob to blow a chance to wear the green jacket. Up two strokes with two holes to play, Perry bogeyed the final two holes to force a sudden death playoff with Chad Campbell and Angel Cabrera. Cabrera would eventually defeat Perry on the second hole of the playoff to win the Masters. To all those people who have never given golf a chance, watch the replay of yesterday's round. It had suspense, awesome skill, competition, men with ice in their veins, and men who couldn't handle the pressure. It was better than if I had my annual viewing of The Ten Commandments.

Angels defeat Red Sox 5-4
Things got a little testy at Angel Stadium yesterday when Bobby Abreu called time and stepped out of the box. Josh Beckett didn't take too kindly of Abreu's time-calling and hurled the ball near his noodle. And such is baseball, the benches cleared, swearing was encouraged, and there was about five minutes of posturing. In the end, Torii Hunter, Justin Speier, hitting coach Mickey Hatcher, and manager Mike Scioscia were ejected. I think I'll include this story in my book Reasons why I Hate Josh Beckett by Sean Fitzgerald. I'm excited for it's release.

I'll be back...

Released
As in, Terrell Owens has been released by the Dallas Cowboys. With the release, the Cowboys will take a $9 million salary cap hit. So, if you are keeping score at home, the Terrell Owens experiment has failed for three franchises. In San Francisco, he alienated his coaches and called his quarterback, Jeff Garcia, gay. In Philadelphia, he called out Donovan McNabb on more than one occasion. And finally, with the Cowboys, he bitched and moaned for roughly the entire time. It is without question that he is one of the greatest receivers to step on a football field. For all intents and purposes, he will have a bust in Canton five years after he retires (if he retires). But it seems as if the question has been answered. And the answer is, "No. Terrell Owens will not help your team." When you average nearly 13 touchdowns in your team with Dallas and Jerry Jones still releases you, I think it is time to evaluate yourself as a person. But now, for the next few weeks, or maybe months, ESPN will wonder and speculate where Owens will end up next. The story will lead off SportsCenter, Pardon the Interruption, Around the Horn, First Take, Outside the Lines, Jim Rome is Burning, NFL Live, Baseball Tonight, NBA Shootaround, and Lumber Liquidators presents the PBA Championship. Hopefully, Owens quits football so we don't have to listen to it.

Signed
As in, Manny Ramirez finally signs with the Dodgers. He was signed to a 2-year, $45 million deal. Roughly the same type of deal that was turned down by Boras and Manny a few times before this. Apparently it came down to deferred money and option years. So what does this mean. Really nothing. This deal was going to get done the day Ramirez carried the Dodgers into the NLCS against the Phillies. The Dodgers knew that they could not let him go. The fans loved him, his teammates loved him, and Torre loved him. And even though they were bidding against themselves, it ended up being a bargain for Los Angeles. They essentially signed him for one year, and Manny can exercise his option following this year to become a free agent. And from what we have seen from him and his agent, he will most certainly do that. It is funny, I have never walked into a fantasy baseball draft wanting to take a 37 year old player as my first pick. But can anyone argue against Ramirez having one of the greatest seasons ever? From what we saw the last two months of last season, why can't he do the same this season? Going from the AL East to the NL West, probably in the best shape he has been in for five years, in a contract year. With his first pick in the 2009 Fantasy Baseball draft, Sean B Fitzgerald selects...

War
This is actually about a month old, but still very funny. Last summer, famed sports talk duo Mike and the Mad Dog ended their eighteen year run and decided to go separate ways. Chris Russo (The Mad Dog) signed a very lucrative deal with Sirius Radio that was worth around $3 million a year, while Mike Francesca stayed on with 660 WFAN in New York. Since then, it has been well known that Sirius has been struggling big time. But last month, a war of words has broken out between the two ex-partners. About a month ago, Chris Russo went on with Howard Stern (Part 2), to discuss how things are going and the topic of WFAN came up. Although Stern went out his way to twist Russo's words, it seemed as if Russo was rooting for Francesca's competitor 1050 ESPN Radio to knock him off the air. I know what you are wondering. You are thinking, "Well Sean, what did Francesca have to say about all of this?" I am glad you asked. Here is his response: Part 1, Part 2. It is things like this that make me love sports more than I already do. Both these radio personalities have little to no talent. I have never taken anything they've said and thought, "Wow, that's an interesting perspective." When listening to them, you feel as if you are listening to two drunk barflies argue over who is the greatest right handed hitting left fielder in Yankee history. But I can still listen to them fight all day. I really hope they get back together and give the people what they want.

Speaking of television, avoid turning on SNY when Seton Hall is playing. It is a horror film for anyone who enjoys the game of basketball. It's like an And1 game without all the skill. Ill-advised passes, hand-groping defense, token attempts at steals, deep threes. The type of play you might see at a CYO game. As I type, they are blowing their chance at any upset against #1 Pittsburgh. I do not know why I had my hopes up.

Since both Seton Hall and the Knicks are losing, I've decided to watch  Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Which I must say, is clearly the best of the trilogy. The second movie of trilogies are usually the better ones. It seems as if the cast, directors, and producers all came together and decided that it needed to be better than the first one. Some examples include The Empire Strikes Back, The Godfather 2, D2: The Mighty Ducks. I'll make a list one of these days (maybe even in blog-form. Stay tuned).

Anyway, there were a few happenings in the world of sport over the past few days. Some of them interesting. Most of them not. But I thought I would share my opinions on them because I know you want them.

Matt Cassel traded to Chiefs for second round draft pick
It was part of the Mike Vrabel trade talked about yesterday. So, to sum up, the Patriots traded Mike Vrabel and Matt Cassel to the Chiefs for a second round draft pick (34th overall). Personally, I believe New England got hosed. But try telling that to a Patriots fan. Prior to the trade, I was talking to a guy I know who is a big New England fan. He was asking me how many first round draft picks Cassel is going to yield when he's traded. Come today, the Pats give up both Cassel and Vrabel, this is the first thing he says to me, "I think it's a good deal. 34th is practically first round". Nice. To them, when Belichick's involved, there is no downside.

When it comes to Cassel as an actual talent, I believe he is an average quarerback. I am from the school of thought that believes Cassel was a product of the system. It's easy to put up numbers when you have two All-World receivers in Wes Welker and Randy Moss. Plus, he didn't even lead his team to the playoffs (Kidding, Pats fans).

Off Topic Digression (Redundant?)
I switched over to watching Old School on TBS and I caught the ending. And underrated ending for an average movie I must say. I was hoping to add that anecdote and then have the clip ready for you to click on. But it's not on YouTube or any other streaming video website. This really upsets me. Usually, I think of a scene from a movie or television show and in two seconds, I am watching the video online. I pray for the day where we can view ANY scene from ANY movie or television show ever made. It's only a matter of time.

Back to your regularly scheduled blog post
Now that I think of it, there really weren't a lot of sports stories over the past few days. Just a bunch of little trades and signings.

Bart Scott signs six year deal with Jets
Believe me, I am happy about this. The Jets need a linebacker, bad. But did they really have to pay him THIS much. I guess that's just the nature of the beast. And I am hoping I say that previous sentence every time Scott sacks a quarterback next season.

Insert Friend: Wow, why did Bart Scott have to sack Tom Brady so hard?
Sean B. Fitzgerald (Me): That's just the nature of the beast.

I'm the beast, and it's my nature.

Based on the signing of Scott and the acquisition of Lito Sheppard for draft picks, it looks as if the Jets are in a "win now" mode. Which is kind of what mode they were in when they acquired Brett Favre last August. But I guess they weren't ready to "win now" then, but are ready to "win now" now? That sounds right, I guess. I'm just happy Favre is back in his Wranglers, chasing critters, riding his tractor, and not adding to his interception record.

I really should not be writing about the NFL as much as I am on February 28th. I understand that it is the most popular sport in this great country of ours, but can we please be obsessive about something else? I enjoy the NFL between September and the first week of February. In that time, I watch 9-12 hours of game footage, 10-15 hours of analysis, and an infinite amount of time worrying about my fantasy team a week. But as soon as the clock hits 0:00 on the Super Bowl, the "caring" part of my brain switches off for the NFL. I feel that it isn't even a conscience decision for me. It's more genetic.

Arod to meet with MLB officials Sunday
In case you want something to not care about. Here.

By the way, I would write about how Manny and Boras declined the Dodgers 2-year, $45 million offer, but the whole thing made me sick. Seriously, I really believe after hearing that, I became sick. Manny made me feel achy, and gave me the stye on my eye. I hate him. (But I want him on the Yankees)

Bill Belichick:
-Wear a New England Patriot hoodie.
-Constantly have a hangdog expression on your face.
-When asked questions, say things like "I just take it one game at a time", "That's in the past", "We're just focused on the next game".
-Carry a video camera.

Scott Boras
-Wear a suit. Buy horns, a tail, and carry a pitchfork.
-Wear a bluetooth in both ears, while having 15 beepers attached to your belt.
-Even in casual conversation, constantly try to negoiate a deal.
-(To go all out, have someone dress up like Manny Ramirez and when he is asked a question, have him discuss it with you before responding)

"I'll renounce Satan when I get my 15%"