Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

Winter Hot Stove Meetings?

For me, baseball's offseason does not officially start until the winter meetings. The winter meetings is where all the general managers, agents, reporters, analysts, Peter Gammons's, and etc. go down to a hot, sexy, touristy spot and make ridiculous trades and signings while under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I kid about the last part, but I'm sure plenty a deal was made under those exact circumstances.

This year are meetings are going to be held between December 8th and the 11th  in Las Vegas, Nevada. Because when I think baseball, I think Las Vegas, Nevada. Don't be suprised to hear a bunch of retarded puns and analogies from ESPN relating a risky deal to the fact that there is legalized gambling in Las Vegas. "He really ROLLED THE DICE on that signing, right Karl?" "He just went ALL IN on that deal." It will be frustrating, but we'll all get through it.

So far in this offseason for the best sport in America (That's right, I said it), nothing has really happened. Javier Vasquez went to the Braves. Boring. So he'll not live up to expectations somewhere else, big deal. Edgar Renteria signs with the Giants. What is this, his tenth team in three years? Another stellar signing by the Giants. They really know how to pick them. Bonds kept them relevant for the years he was there, now, sometimes I forget they're even a franchise. Come back to New York, Giants, there's plenty of room. And besides, it would be awesome to have two New York Giant franchises again.

But now, the meetings are upon us. A time where small market franchises feel they NEED to make a big splash to be considered important. Even if it means signing A.J. Burnett to a ten year deal. But let me go through some of the more important free agents and make my predictions on where they will sign. Lets do this, shall we?

Still fat

CC Sabathia
It feels like a few months ago when the Yankees offered Sabathia a six-year, $140 million contract. Because, I'm pretty sure it was a few months ago. He has remained silent on whether he will take the deal. The rumor has been that he wants to A) stay on the west coast and B) stay in the national league. Two very reasonable requests. But CC, think this through, please. It's $140 million. No team is going to touch that offer. Are you really going to sacrifice 20 to 30 million just for a few at-bats and a few days at the beach? Hell, for $140 million, I would play in Calcutta. From my point of view, he's waiting it out for no reason. Teams have bluffed monetary interest to him over the past few weeks, but none have made good. So far, there are two offers, the Brewers and the Yankees. I would be shocked if he isn't in pinstripes come spring training. The MLBPA won't let him NOT take it. If he accepts, he sets the standard for ace pitchers in the future, and that is a good thing for the union. The players assocation might have to "make it worth his while", but someone better start knitting him a Yankees jersey.
2009 Team: Yankees

You don't have to read if you're an athlete.

Mark Teixeira
Word on the street is that he enjoys money. Like the rest of us. It's just that, unlike CC, he doesn't care where he plays, just as long as that team gives him the most sacks of money. I got nothing against that, seems like a normal guy trying to get what he deserves. And lets face it, he is in probably the best position for a free agent in the history on the sport. Let me break it down. He will be 29 years old on opening day 2009. He is a corner infielder who hits for average, gets on base, drives in runs, and switch hits. He is a gold glove first baseman. And lest we forget, his agent is, drumroll please...Sata....I mean Scott Boras. If anyone can have a homeless guy give HIM money, it's Mr. Boras. God knows what kind of currency he get squeeze out of these teams fighting for Teixeira's services. He might ask for 25 mil a year for 10 years in EUROS. But who is going to doll out the dough for Marky Mark. Angels? Red Sox? Yankees? Orioles? Nationals? That Nationals rumor is hilarious. But at the same time, I guess that's what you got to do in order to get the ball rolling as a franchise. If the Yankees get CC, they are not touching Teixeira. Even for them that's too much money to sign over in one offseason. My thoughts are leaning towards the Sox. Papi is not what he used to be and Lowell can easily become expendable if Teixeira is signed. They have the money, the appeal, and the need.
2009 Team: Red Sox

I'll get hurt in a few minutes

 A.J. Burnett
There is not a pitcher, no, player in professional sports that I trust less that A.J. Burnett. I guess it's because he only has good seasons in walk years. Maybe it's because he's a malcontent. Or maybe it's because he sucks. Yeah, that's it. He sucks. Since the season ended, all I've heard is, "But he's got great STUFF". What the hell is stuff? I have stuff too. A lot of it. But I'm not being paid millions. So what if he occasionally can throw 98 MPH, or that he has a terrific curveball. Does he perform consistently? Absolutely not. "STUFF" is not worth the money he is going to be paid this offseason. I'd rather take Mike Mussina for another 5 years than A.J. Burnett for the next two. Because you know exactly what you are getting with Mussina. Consistency. Not erractic pitching, and anti-social behavior (well, maybe). I was so happy to find out the Yanks were losing interest in this guy. The last thing New York needs is another Carl Pavano, Kevin Brown, Randy Johnson, or Hideki Irabu. Well, the Braves have offered Burnett a 4-year, $60 million offer. Accept AJ! Take it and Run! Get yourself off the market before the Yanks get interested again!
2009 Team: Braves (God willing)

More to come...