The Last Day at the Meadowlands
I never did the tail-gating thing. Personally, I like showing up ten minutes before the game starts, finding my seat, watching the game, then leaving when it ends.
But yesterday, I was offered the opportunity to tail-gate prior to the Jets-Bengals with my friend's family. I had to say yes. So much was at stake. Not only was there a "win and they're in" scenario for the Jets, it was the last game at the Meadowlands. The game had been flexed by NBC so the kick-off was scheduled for 8:30. I expected to head on down to the stadium around 6:00, get there by 6:30, and tail-gate for two hours.
I was wrong.
I got a text from my friend Sunday morning telling me to be at his house by 2:50. Apparently the gates open for tail-gaters at 3:30 and they wanted to set up as soon as possible as to get a good spot. So I'm looking at a full five hours of gating tail even before entering the stadium. Five hours in the cold, smelly air of the Meadowlands.
I knew it was going to be cold, just not THAT cold. But I did make the appropriate accommodations anyway. Four pairs of socks. Two pairs of sweatpants underneath my jeans. Two pairs of gloves. And many many layers of shirts, sweatshirts and jackets under my #83 Santana Moss jersey (#83 is now Danny Woodhead, the Wes Welker of the Jets). I also had a thermos full of hot cocoa (such a badass). At this point, I was fairly confident I could survive even if I was encased in a glacier.
And then I got out of the car and icicles immediately formed on my nipples. It was as if the sun was just for show. It wouldn't have been as bad if the wind wasn't so ferocious either. Because there is nothing worse than an unrelenting stream of freezing wind trying to weather your face off. With these conditions, and the forecast saying it was due to get worse, my courage hung by a thread.
What I didn't take into account was that I was tailgating with professionals. Literally, most of these guys are retired and basically do this for a living. So about 30 seconds after a get out of the car, there is an enormous tent set up and the grills have been lit. It was like watching a NASCAR pit crew change four tires. Very impressive.
But my faith had yet to be restored seeing as I had yet to find a remedy for my frozen ass. Until I stepped foot inside the tent and I was hit with a wave of heat. Someone had brought a gas space heater that used 80,000 BTU's (which I'm told is good) and in less than ten minutes the tent turned into a sauna. It was warmer than my house. There were times I had to step outside to cool off.
And did I mention that they had an HD television perched atop a table showing the Cowboy-Eagle game? I didn't? Well, they had an HD television perched atop a table showing the Cowboy-Eagle game. Suffice it so say, I spent most of the five hours in there. Especially since there was food being delivered to the tent from the grill periodically every half hour or so. And it was every type of food. I ate chicken, steak, sausage, a burger, lamb, a hot dog, and two bowls of jambalaya for Christ's sake! No food stone was left unturned and by game time I was a bloated excuse for a man, with the gas emitting from me the only thing to propel me forward towards the stadium.
We found our seats ten minutes before kick-off, trying to spend as much time near the heaters before braving four quarters of football.
Side note: There is nothing riskier than attempting to use the facilities in weather like that. After struggling through undoing your belt, unzipping, and being comforted that you still have a penis, you're so bundled up that you're unable to see it. So God knows where that piss is going. Hopefully, it lands safely on the urinal cakes but for all you know, it could be rolling down your leg (or someone else's). I took the risk twice throughout the day. Once in a Port-O-John and another inside the stadium. And both times I crossed my fingers and hoped I hit the target. Success.
For us Jets fans, the game went as planned. If we won, we were in (the playoffs, that is). And we did. Handily, 37-0. We did the whole "J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets!" chant and watched Fireman Ed lose his freakin' mind on the JumboTron before every kick-off. We screamed and yelled after every big offensive play and screamed and yelled the entire time the Jets were on defense. We cheered every time Darrelle Revis shut down Ochocinco and booed Chad every time he ran off the field. It was great.
We closed out the Meadowlands appropriately. For a stadium that is easily forgettable, we made the last night memorable. I'm glad I was there.
Setting themselves up
I'm so disappointed. Couldn't they have just lost? Couldn't they have just ended my misery?
No. They want me to suffer. The gods of football have forced me to struggle through another agonizing week.
The season was supposed to have unofficially ended last week. The coach even admitted as much. The season was lost and it was time for we lowly Jets fans to worry about the draft.
I say the preceding statements like I actually hoped they lost yesterday. Truth be told, it's in the nature of a Jet fan to enjoy pain, so going through the minuscule chances the Jets have is an enjoyable past time.
Me (yesterday, prior to the 1:00pm starts): Let's see, we need the Patriots to beat the Jaguars, the Steelers to beat the Ravens, the Texans to beat the Dolphins, and for good measure, the Eagles to beat the Broncos. If that happens, the Jets control their own destiny. They just need to beat the Colts and the Bengals. That's it! That's all they need! It's possible!
This is coming from a man who actually went to the Jets/Falcons disaster the previous Sunday. With the way they performed for four quarters against Atlanta, they shouldn't even accept an invitation to the playoffs. Missed field goals, interceptions, dropped passes, and one long, final drive by the Falcons to win it. It could be argued that it was the worst game in Jets history and it was the only NFL game I've ever been to. Just my luck.
So what am I holding on to? Why do I care about the playoff picture? They've disappointed me in the past too many times. I've made this analogy before, but I'm like a battered wife who continues to keeps coming back and says to herself "He's changed." Ugh.
So in case you missed the games yesterday, in short, EVERYTHING went the Jets way.
Miami: Lost. Out of the playoffs.
Jacksonville: Lost. And even at 7-8, still have a chance to make the playoffs.
Baltimore: Lost. Clinch wild-card berth with win against the Raiders.
Denver: Lost. Do not control their own destiny.
And the break of all breaks. Jim Caldwell (the head coach of the Indianapolis Colts) decides to sit Peyton Manning and the rest of his starters in the second half, which essentially forfeited a perfect season. The Jets defense and special teams took advantage. Final score: Jets 29, Colts 14.
Now, the Jets have a chance to close out the Meadowlands for good with a win against the Bengals. that will send them into the playoffs.
It's all too perfect. The Jets just need to win and they're in. The Bengals clinched the AFC North yesterday and since the Chargers and Colts already locked up the first round byes, Cincinnati has absolutely nothing to play for.
Is there any doubt that they blow this? I've witnessed too many Jets collapses in my life to even consider another scenario. Most recently last season when New York was 8-3, then in the blink of an eye they were losing to the Dolphins in Week 17 and narrowly missing the playoffs.
So unlike my relationship with the Yankees, where I expect nothing, with the Jets, I expect less than nothing. At around 4pm next season, I expect to flick off the television, and rack my brain wondering how Rex Ryan could decide to onside kick when they up by two points with a minute left.
By the way
I'm trying my best not to talk about the Yankees and their upcoming playoff series with whoever, whether it be the Detroit Tigers or Minnesota Twins. Because, like I've said a thousand times, I could care less about their 103 wins, their high-powered offense, their solid bullpen, or deep bench. I've read this book before. And I know how it ends.
Badly.
So I'm walking into these playoffs differently this year. In an attempt to keep my mental health intact for the next month, I will expect nothing from the New York Yankees from this point on until the end of the playoffs.
Right now, it's all gravy. A 27th World Series Championship? Terrific. A loss in the first round? So what. They had a great year. (Resisting the urge to begin a 4,000 word diatribe discussing their high payroll, mismanagement of Joba Chamberlain, and choking in clutch situations).
Over the past few weeks, I've heard from too many Yankee fans that this team is different from the past years and they'll do well in the playoffs now. At least, that's what I thought I heard. By the time I heard "It's going to be different...", I sprinted in the other direction, covering my ears and yelling, "La la la la la".
I don't need that optimism. We fans have been optimistic for too long. Optimism has gotten us nowhere. It's time to be humble and expect nothing.
That's how I'm going to approach these playoffs. I feel it will be most rewarding. And I won't want to rip out my pubes when A.J. Burnett can't get out of the third inning in Game 2.
It’s my nature
There was a time when I could not wait for October. It couldn't come any sooner. Growing up a Yankees fan in the 90s will do that to you. The playoffs were a birthright and destiny was on our side every year. Sure, every now and then a team other than the Yankees would sneak in a championship (See: 1997 Marlins, 2001 Diamondbacks). But that was only to give fans of other teams some hope.
I was never worried about the playoffs then. Every other team was inferior to the Yankees it seemed. That only question that fans asked was, "In how many games are the Yankees going to win?"
Then 2004 happened. Everything changed. (No need to go further. It brings up too many painful memories.)
And ever since then, my Yankees have been exposed in the division series every year. They may have run through their opponents during the regular series, but as soon as October hit, their flaws were exposed like Ray Liotta's face in fluorescent lighting.
Take 2007 for example. During that season, New York had a 6-0 record against the Cleveland Indians during the regular season. Playoffs arrived. Out in 4 games.
So ask me if I'm "pumped" for the playoffs?
I could care less about the nine game lead. I could care less about the +149 run differential. I could care less about the 47-20 home record. This means nothing to me. And I'm sure it means nothing to any real Yankee fan. Right now, it's all fluff.
Ask the 2001 Seattle Mariners about their regular season. 116 wins. Most all-time. Lost in the ALCS to the Yankees in 5 games.
So no, I'm not "pumped". I'm worried about our flaws (Once again, I'm allowed to use "our". I feel I've spent enough emotion on this team.)
-What the HELL is the deal with Joba Chamberlain? Holy crap Yankees. Way to ruin a promising young pitcher. Regardless of how I feel (Bullpen! cough cough Bullpen!), shouldn't you have some conviction in your decision? Was this the plan from the start? He was going to be a starter, but with a 160 inning limit, but when he approached 160 innings and they needed him for the playoffs he would make starts of 2,3,4, and 5 innings to slowly build back up to regular starts, but when the playoffs start the innings count would wipe clean, but he MAY be a reliever in the playoffs. What. The. Hell? He used to be a commodity. Now he's a liability. Can't hit the strike zone, can't hit 95 MPH, overthrows, doesn't trust his stuff. Just about everything you DON'T want in a pitcher. Does any Yankee fan out there want him to start a playoff game? Something to think about.
In terms of flaws, that's about it. Which is a good thing. But given their recent history, I'm sure many more flaws will expose themselves. Suddenly Sabathia's playoff ineptitude will rear it's ugly head, the Yankee offense will disappear with runner's in scoring position, or the bridge to Hughes and Mariano will crumble with the pressure on.
I'm scared. I'm petrified. I won't be relieved until we have number 27.
2009 NBA Playoffs Preview
After having a big bowl of delicious Lucky Charms this morning, I have decided to write my NBA Playoffs Preview. It's something I have been mulling over ever since the Knicks were eliminated from playoff contention (about three weeks ago). From what I've heard from the talking heads, sports radio, and the blogs, is that however the playoffs themselves shake out, the inevitable finals matchup will be between the Lakers and Cavaliers. Kobe v. Lebron. The Old v. The New. Ecks v. Sever. Anyway, after watching about 1000 NBA games this season, I wouldn't argue with that premonition. And now with Garnett out for the entire postseason possibly, the Lakers and the Cavs are the most complete teams.
This doesn't bode well for my Knicks though. If Lebron wins a championship for Cleveland, there is no way he will leave after next season, maximum contract or not. Because if he leaves for the money and the "marketing leverage" in New York, he can kiss any more championships goodbye. Right now, the Knicks have a worse supporting cast for James than Cleveland does. Nate Robinson and David Lee are nice players, but on any other team they are complementary. Almost negligible. Lebron may think he could broaden his image and become a global icon in New York, but look at the age we live in today. Where you are has nothing to do with exposure anymore. Winning does. Nike knew that when they signed him to a $90 million deal when he was drafted. If he starts to hoist trophies over his head, this New York dream will be long forgotten.
Atlanta Hawks vs. Miami Heat (Atlanta in 7)
Best series of the first round. Last season, the Hawks took the Celtics to game 7 in the first round of the playoffs. As exciting as that was, it resulted in nothing tangible. There was no "win" under their belt. They'll be looking to change that against the Heat. For me it boils down to who has a more cohesive starting five, with the advantage going to Atlanta. They've been through this before and with 47 wins in the regular season, they proved it was no fluke. Obviously, Dwyane Wade is the X factor. For 82 games this season, he took Mario Chalmers, Michael Beasley, and the rest of the team on his back and carried them to 43 wins. I would like to believe he could do it for a seven game series, but I just don't see it. With the amount of youth on that team (not to mention a first year coach who isn't necessarily good), the Hawks can just double or triple team Wade and shut them down.
Boston Celtics vs. Chicago Bulls (Celtics in 6)
In terms of an upset in these playoffs, all directions are pointing to Chicago. An insanely talented rookie point guard who has game-takeoverability (Bilas'ism), strong play down the stretch (18-11 since the All-Star Break), savvy trades for veteran players (Brad Miller, John Salmons), and Garnett out. I could easily pick the Bulls in seven. But there is no way that the Celtics are going to roll over after losing Garnett. Paul Pierce and Ray Allen will have none of that. And this pains me to type it. But it's true. Even without KG, they still can suffocate teams defensively. However, if Boston wants to have any sort of run in these playoffs, Rondo will need to play out of his mind for extended periods of time. If he does, we can see them back in the Finals.
Orlando Magic vs. Philadelphia 76ers (Magic in 5)
Boring. This series is essentially a "wait out the clock" situation. Philadelphia matches up horribly with Orlando. And quite frankly (Stephen A.'ed), no one does. No team in the playoffs has three players like Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis, and Hedo Turkoglu. On paper, the Magic should wipe the floor with the Eastern Conference and have a preemptive date with the Lakers in the Finals. Even with 53 wins in 2008-2009 they haven't played to their potential. Especially Howard. It's scary to think that he might not yet know how big he really is. A player of his size and skill should touch the ball at least once every time down court, but that's not the case. He seems to shy away from the spotlight in crunch time. That's either unselfishness or fear. If I am the Magic, I am praying it isn't the latter.
Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Detroit Pistons (Cavaliers in 4)
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
Exhibit D
No further questions.
Denver Nuggets vs. New Orleans Hornets (New Orleans in 7)
As I get further and further into this preview, I realize that you don't need to know much about basketball to predict series. Very rarely is there an upset and the team that played better in the regular season often wins. It's nothing like baseball. Baseball relies heavily on which team is hot coming into the playoffs. In basketball, teams who have success on the defensive end of the ball are able to combat any sort of run from the opposing team. Ironically, that is also the reasoning to why I am predicting the Hornets to upset the Nuggets in seven games. Bottomline, Denver plays little to no defense and New Orleans is top five in the NBA in opponent scoring. Chris Paul in 2009.
San Antonio Spurs vs. Dallas Mavericks (Spurs in 6)
One last hurrah for the Spurs? I think so. The Ginobili injury took the decisive blow to their Finals hopes, but I think there is enough in the tank of Parker and Duncan to muster up at least one more series win. And if Jason Kidd guards Parker in the series, consider that prediction signed, sealed, and delivered. This season Tony Parker averaged 31.3 ppg, 7.3 APG, and 52% shooting when Kidd defended him (Thank you Bill Simmons). Also, let's go through some of Roger Mason Jr.'s game-winning shots this season: Vs. Lakers, At Clippers, At Suns, At Celtics. He is good.
Los Angeles Lakers vs. Utah Jazz (Lakers in 5)
I can't imagine how much better the Lakers would be if they had a lick of team-cohesiveness and chemistry. It's no question that every player on Los Angeles is unbelievably talented, but they play with eachother, not for eachother. And I think they is an enormous difference. The bottomline is: They are going to be in the finals in June, but they are not going to win it. That fatal flaw will rear it's ugly head when at some point during the series, they will be down by 5 with 3 minutes left. Kobe will take ill-advised shots thinking he needs to take over, he will get frustrated with his teammates for showing lack of heart, and they will lose. It's 2008 all over again.
Portland Trailblazers vs. Houston Rockets (Trailblazers in 7)
Who doesn't want to see Portland make a playoff run? They could be the most likeable team ever. Which is a stark contrast from the "Jailblazers" era of 2000 and 2001. But honestly, look at this team. Name a player on Portland you wouldn't want to be friends with. Even Rudy Fernandez would be a riot to hang out with. Their fast, young, talented, and even nice. Not to mention, they could have the best fans in the sport. I wish I was a Trailblazer fan. It is like a party every night.
NFL Divisional Playoffs
I am going to keep my picks short and sweet. Everything that needs to be said about these games has already been said, heard, criticized, and reworded. Should be a fun weekend of sitting, watching, eating, more sitting, yelling at the TV, yelling at family members for standing in front of the TV, more eating, occasional napping, and maybe some eating.
over 
over 
over 
over 
Wild Card Weekend
There are four NFL playoff games this weekend. Two tomorrow. And two on Sunday. What makes these playoffs extra awesome is the fact that neither the Patriots nor the Cowboys are involved. Granted, when they are involved, it makes the playoffs more interesting. But I am more than happy to exclude them from this year's festivities for a few less viewers.
It can be debated that four of the teams playing this weekend have no business playing in a postseason game. The Vikings, Eagles, Chargers, and Cardinals seemed to all make the playoffs by accident. But they are here, and we have to deal with it.
Colts at Chargers
I've stated it before, but no team in the playoffs got the shaft more than the Colts. They scratch and claw their way to a 12-4 record, only to be slotted to play the 8-8 Chargers in San Diego. Still makes for a good game though. The Chargers could be 0-16 and still give the Colts a tough game. They always do. Practically everytime these two teams come together, it comes down to a Vinatieri or Keading field goal attempt. I think I speak for everyone (except Patriot fans) when I say that I hope the Colts win. No team talks more shit than the Chargers. And they have won nothing. The AFC West don't count as "something".
Colts 31-21
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Falcons at Cardinals
I really wish I got to see more of the Falcons on television this year. I believe they had zero nationally televised games on their schedule. I guess that makes sense. Because NO ONE, including the schedule makers believed the Falcons had a chance to be competitive. New coach. Rookie quarterback. First year starting running back. Disenchanted fan base. Just a mess. Fast forward eighteen weeks, they're in the first round of the playoffs. And have a very big chance of winning. The Cardinals clinched the NFC West about twelve weeks ago and played out the rest of the season hoping no one got injured. Thus, the 9-7 record. The Falcons REALLY fought for their playoff spot, and didn't let up all season. However, and pardon me for sounding like a member of the "Sunday NFL Countdown" crew, but can Matt Ryan (a rookie QB) win (on the road), in the playoffs? I don't think so. Kurt Warner, an experienced playoff veteran, playing at home, with Fitzgerald and Boldin will win.
Cardinals 34-17
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Ravens at Dolphins
I'm not one to go out on the proverbial limb. But, for this game, I will. I am guaranteeing a Baltimore win against the Dolphins on Sunday. And what does that guarantee mean? It means absolutely nothing. Just thought I'd tell you. Anyway, I say this because of two things. In Week 7, the Ravens destroyed the Dolphins and their "Wildcat" offense. Speaking of which, that offense seems tailor made for the Ravens defense. Tight and compact. And if there is going to be a rookie QB to win on the road in these playoffs, it's Mr. Flacco. He doesn't make a lot of mistakes and protects the ball well. Should be a good game nonetheless.
Ravens 21-10
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Eagles at Vikings
No idea where to go with this game. But maybe by the end of this paragraph, I would have come to a conclusion. Both teams are clearly on a high after winning huge Week 17 games. One more important than the other. The Eagles won essentially a playoff game against the Cowboys. They dominated on both sides of the ball and made Dallas look like a CFL team. The Vikings on the other hand barely beat the Giants third string players by a Ryan Longwell field goal. But the Eagles (9-6-1) cannot be trusted. I've never seen a more schizophrenic team in my life. That 1 at the end of their record should serve as an example. I'm going with the Vikings. That fan base needs it.
Vikings 24-17
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Did you enjoy that indepth analysis? I really did cover every angle. Ugh, what a terrible post. I'll do better next time.
Thoughts on Week 17 and the NFL Playoffs
- Let me preface this by saying that I hate the Patriots. I hate them. I hate them more than nuts in brownies. I hate the franchise. I hate their players. I hate their coaches. And of course, I hate their fans. Because nothing is worse in this country than a cocky New Englander. But that fact that they are not in the playoffs is ridiculous. I don't need to go through why either. An 11-5 record should warrant a playoff spot. Especially since the 8-8 San Diego Chargers will be HOSTING a playoff game. Same with those 9-7 Arizona Cardinals. I think it's time for the NFL to go to some kind of system where strength of schedule, rankings, point differential, and overall record are taken into account and some sort of decimal is generated thus determining the best teams in the league. Yeah, that'll do.
- Speaking of those Chargers, the Colts got hosed. They have the same record as the New York Giants (12-4) and have to play a first round game AT San Diego. What. A. Joke. I can't believe Norv Turner made the playoffs. He's been on the hot seat so long, you can grill burgers off his ass. But he continues to skate by. He's the same caliber coach as any of the head coaches fired this year. But Marty Schottenheimer's talent keeps him winning.
- Mangini fired. It feels so good to type those words. Since I don't want to talk about the past, I'll think towards the future. And at this point, I'll take any of the potential candidates for the Jets head coaching position. Schottenheimer, Cowher, Spagnuolo, Gilbride, Me, anyone. Anyone with a pulse. Because Mangini didn't have one. I like some emotion with my coaches. The man looked catatonic after every play. I like to think it's because he was confused about what was going on and still was learning the game of football. Anyway, he's gone. It's time to move forward.
- Ladies and Gentlemen, your Befeated 2008 Detroit Lions!
- Even though the Jets did not make the playoffs (which they wouldn't have deserved anyway), there are four things I am happy about regarding Week 17. I am a Giants supporter and am happy that they have a first round bye and home field throughout the playoffs. They are clearly the best team in the NFC and could have a fairly easy road to the playoffs. We'll see. Obviously I am happy that the Patriots didn't make the playoffs. Their fans have had enough and no one deserves a crushing blow to their team than Bostonians. I couldn't be happier for Chad Pennington. He showed to the Jets, the team that ran him out of town for Brett Favre, how good he really was. Admittedly, I wanted Favre and if it was at the expense of Pennington, I'd take it. But Chad rubbed it in our collective faces. Definition of bittersweet. And finally, a team I hate more than the Patriots, are the Cowboys. I hate them because all of the supposed "fans" they have. I live in New York. I know more Cowboys fans than I do Jet fans. Why? Why are they fans? They never lived in Texas. I bet they couldn't point to Texas on a map. Yet nothing could get between them and their 'Boys. It's because their frontrunners. And nothing shuts a frontrunner up than 12 years without a playoff win. I hope they keep Romo for the next ten years. Overrated. He is "Favre: The Next Generation".
I'm fired? Okay.
Anything else? Mr. Nosey…
Ken Griffey Jr. has 611 homeruns, 1772 RBIs, 2680 hits, 1612 runs, and played in 2521 games in his long career. The guy has been playing since the 80s. Anyone want to take a guess as to how many playoff games he has been a part of? 15. Just 15 games. He hasn't been in the postseason in over a decade ('97). Today, at 2:30 ET on TBS, we'll get a chance to see one of the greatest players of his generation (Omit: Bonds) in the playoffs for probably the last time. Hes turning 39 in November and as his career stats indicate, he might be on his last hurrah. You could also tell that by his noodle armed throw to Pierzynski to save a run in that one game playoff against the Twins. 1996 Griffey would of put a hole in A.J. or would of just ran the ball in to nail the runner.
It's Never Iffy When It's Griffey
Lidge sent a shiver done the collective spine of the Phillie faithful yesterday by nearly blowing Cole Hamels' gem in the ninth. We're all just waiting for Lidge to give up some game tying homerun in the ninth and have like a Vietnam flashback to the 2004 NLCS. But for his sanity, and the Phillie fans, I hope at least they make it to the World Series. Mike Schmidt and the 1980 team are long gone. It's time for something good to happen in Philly. The show can't be the only thing going for it.
And the ball was never heard from again...
Ugh. What are Cubs fans thinking right now. This is their year. Just like every year. Most wins in the NL. They had the central wrapped up. The World Series was just a formality. In comes James Loney? Who? And the rest of the "We're just happy to be here" Los Angeles Dodgers. As soon as Loney hit that ball, Wrigley Field made less noise than silence. You could hear the wind whipping around the field. It was PAINFUL. The Cubs didn't even attempt to make it interesting after the grand slam. They saw the season flash before their eyes and e-mailed in the rest of the game. Can't wait to see how Zambrano pitches tonight? For him, it boils down to two outcomes: 1. A 2-hit shoutout. 2. Finds a way to give up back-to-back grand slams and eats his glove on the mound.
The 1908 Cubs: You think any of these guys can still hit?
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