Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

What Now?

What now, you ask? We move on. What else can we do? For us fans, we can't just give up on a sport altogether. But honestly, this can't possibly be a shock to anyone. We all liked to think that he was different. For all his emotional, psychological, personal, and sexual (Madonna) problems, we still thought he was clean. That all his homeruns that never seemed to land were just the product of divine talent and a historical work ethic. Are we nuts?

From what we know about Rodriguez, the most prevalent of those is that he is insanely insecure and obsessed with his numbers. Of course he took something. If he knew that players were doing drugs to gain an edge, the needle would be in his ass before his pants hit the floor. No one can gain an edge on Arod!

So he admitted to taking steroids from 2001-2003, and that's it. I don't believe it for a second. He stated that he felt an enourmous amount of pressure to perform when he was given that $252 million dollar contract from the Texas Rangers, so he decided to use steroids. Then in 2003, he realized the error of his ways and stopped. He never used again, he says. I don't believe it. For a man as insecure and paranoid about his legacy, why on Earth would he stop using when he was traded to the New York Yankees? If he feels pressured to use while performing in front of 19 fans in the middle of July, how can he just stop using when being traded to a team with a stadium that literally shakes when a homerun is hit. That's pressure. But according to him, he never used as a Yankee.

I asked a couple weeks ago for baseball to hurry up. Winter's dragging on. But now, it can take its time. There's no rush. Because there are still 103 names on that list from 2003 that will get out no matter what happens. Confidentiality? Out the window. Those names will be scrolling along the bottom of ESPN come hell or high water. And when that day comes, we will be shocked and appalled at the names. When we shouldn't be. As much as we revere and adore our athletes for their physical abilities; mentally, they're as weak as toddlers. Most of them are arrogant and selfish and will do anything or take anything for an edge.

I love baseball. But my love for it took another jab to the midsection yesterday. I feel like a battered wife. As much as baseball hits me, I'll come crawling back on my knees saying "It's changed. It's doing it because it loves me."

I was born in 1987, the beginning of the steroid era. This is basically all I know. I can't leave now.