My New Haircut

I really dislike hair. If it were up to me, I would shave all of it off. But, I would also like to adhere to certain social norms (i.e. not looking like a psychopath), so I've kept a fairly simple haircut for most of my life.
When I was a kid, I sported the classic bowl haircut. You know what I'm talking about. It literally looks as if the barber stuck a salad bowl on your head and snipped away the uneven hairs. That's what I had, and I loved it. Life was simpler.
And up until recently, I've rocked an even less hassle-free cut. It's basically a military haircut with enough strands in front so I can move them to the left or right depending on my mood. No combs, no brushes, no gel. There is no room for negotiation with my hair.
My trips to the barber have been boiled down to a science. He sees me, tells me how long I have to wait, I wait, I sit down, he asks me what number blade for the sides, I tell him "1" or "2", he cuts, I pay, I tip, I take a lolly-pop, I leave.
I feel like I'm too young to get boggled down into a routine. I need to shake things up a bit. And that's why I'm letting my hair grown out. No crazy, but just a few centimeters longer. The military cut has served it's purpose, and that purpose was strictly for my own laziness. I just never wanted to have to deal with actually combing it and parting it and making sure I looked good before hitting the road. And trust me, it was nice having to wake up and drive off even before looking in a mirror.
I'm not sure how long I will wait before getting it cut again, but I positive I won't wait until I look like Jim from "The Office". Sometimes long is too long.
And I'm pretty sure girls like longer hair. Ever see the dirt-bags with hair down to their shoulders who are walking around with beautiful women. It's got to be the hair, right?
Innuendo, thy name is New York Post

We all are aware of the New York Post's penchant for silliness and tongue-in-cheekness in their headlines. But this is taking it too far, right? Granted, it takes a few seconds to realize what their driving at, but seriously New York Post?
via New York Post
Headlines

Perfect life continues, Tiger Woods wins another tournament
Supermodel wife: Check. Endless talent and determination: Check. Closing in on a billion dollars in earnings: Check. Dog who poses for cameras and stares into your soul: Check. Yesterday, Tiger Woods added to his career winnings by coming from behind to beat Jim Furyk and the rest of the field in the The Memorial. That makes 67 career wins on the PGA Tour. How long until its called the Tiger Woods Tour? Because I am almost certain that Woods earns more money than the PGA itself. Hell, that dog probably earns more. Look at it, it's starting to creep me out. Moving on.
Lakers win in OT over Magic, take 2-0 series lead
Least. Interesting. Series. Ever. Well, if Courtney Lee doesn't miss that point-blank range lay-up at the end of regulation last night there would have been some interest. Rookies. I blame the mask. Nonetheless, he did not put the biscuit in the basket and the Magic find themselves in more or less a must-win situation in Game 3. I remember when I was a kid and the 2009 NBA Playoffs started. Players like Dwyane Wade and Joe Johnson were in it. Those were the days. Wake me up when it's over.
Vikings give Favre deadlines to decide whether he will play in 2009
My indifference is suffocating me! Help! Someone give me something to care about!...Sweet, a video of a cat on a toilet. Thanks.
I'll be back.
In the depths of a dark basement on a rainy day…
In an attempt to validate my laziness and constant procrastination (I think it's becoming a serious problem), I will write a blog post that is basically just short bursts of thought in word-form that express my opinions on the world of sports and whatever crosses my mind.
- Brad Penny is a fat man. Today he pitched in his first start for the Red Sox against the Angels, and from the looks of it, he has never heard of the term, "Gym". But in all fairness, he has always been overweight. It's not really a suprise. What IS a suprise is his ability to date rather attractive women such as Alyssa Milano and Eliza Dushku. I guess true beauty really is on the inside.
- Barring a historic comeback on Sunday, Tiger Woods will NOT be doning the green jacket for the fifth time. He just finished the third round -2 taking his total for the three days at -4. Which leaves him 8 shots back of leaders Kenny Perry and Angel Cabrera who are both at -11 for the tournament. That's convienent for me. Now I don't have to watch golf on Sunday.
It may be unnecessary for me to put my two cents in regarding Nick Adenhart's tragic death, but I feel compelled to. This may be an odd reference, but in the movie Hot Fuzz, the main character (a police officer) informs his partner that "car accidents" should be termed "traffic collisons" because "car accident" implies that there is no one to blame. When I first saw the headline of Nick Adenhart's death it read Angels pitcher dies in car accident. As I learned more about the story, it became clear that it was no accident. Andrew Gallo, 22, had a blood alcohol level estimated three times the legal limit, got behind the wheel of a car, sped through a red light, and took the lives of three young people. I had a friend who drove under the influence. I heard the story the next day, "I was driving down the street by your house and slammed into the guardrail. My car has a huge dent". We laughed it off because we're idiots. Not even for one second thinking about what could have happened. And since nothing else did happen, it didn't really deter him from doing it another time. And another time. I just hope he realizes the potential consequences of his behavior. Because of what we're shown in the news, the drunk driver almost always lives. A lifetime of regret and sorrow to pay for what they've done. It shouldn't take the death of a 22 year old major league pitcher for this to hit home for anyone. Nick Adenhart had his whole life ahead of him. Andrew Gallo has his whole life to think about that.
/gently steps off soapbox

Headlines…
Connecticut routs Louisville on way to National Championship
I'll assume you were not watching the Women's NCAA Basketball Tournament over the past few weeks (Neither was I), but apparently the Huskies from Connecticut went 39-0 on the season. They were flat out dominate all season. And that is taking nothing away from Louisville who went 34-5 and made it all the way to the final as a three seed. Impressive. It's nice to see the Big East actually live up to its billing as the best conference in the nation. Too bad the men could not respond in kind. They were too busy worrying about declaring for the draft...

Dejuan Blair of Pittsburgh declares for NBA Draft
He may have been the Co-Big East Player of the Year. He may have averaged a double-double for the 2008-2009 season. It may be a thin draft. But this is the wrong move for the sophomore from Pittsburgh. Some players regardless of success in college need as much time in the NCAA as possible. Dejaun Blair is too unrefined as a basketball player to even think about going to the NBA. He's a 6'7 power forward with no jump shot and average passing skills. That skill set barely passes in the developmental league. And that is where he is headed when he inevitably gets drafted in the mid to late second round. Or not at all.

Red Sox defeat Rays on rescheduled Opening Day
There is nothing harder than trying to sound objective when discussing the Red Sox. Even when talking to friends I start out saying things like, "Well Lester looked terrific last night striking out eight and going seven innings". But inside my head I'm screaming, "Red Sox suck! Go Yanks!" But clearly if I said those things, I would be considered a homer and thusly, not objective. That being said, everything went right for the Red Sox yesterday. Beckett went seven innings while yielding only 2 hits and 1 run. Reigning AL MVP Dustin Pedroia hit a homerun in his first at bat of the season. And god help us, Jason Varitek hit a homerun. It's going to be a long season.

2009 Masters starts tomorrow
I'm not sure what station has been whoring out their coverage of the Masters more, ESPN or CBS. It's essentially a tossup. I remember seeing advertisements for it on CBS back in January. At the same time, it seems as if ESPN has an ad for the Masters every 30 seconds. This year, ESPN has the first two days of the event (the ones most people don't care about), while CBS has Saturday and Sunday (The ones where people say, "Is this almost over? Where's Two and a Half Men). The favorite to win this year, and every year since 1997 is Tiger Woods. However, the Hefty Lefty Phil Mickelson is coming off two straight wins and might have actually lifted a dumbbell since the last Masters (He wasn't really lifting it, he was just moving it out of his way so he could get to the vending machine). And the man with the best accent on the Tour, Padraig Harrington is looking for his third straight major title. Of all the golfers that enjoyed Woods's absense from the Tour last year, Harrington definitely enjoyed it the most. Notching two major titles in 2008 and placing himself among the game's elite.

I'll be back...
Spring Training is here.
Everyone relax. Last night I saw baseball scores scrolling along the bottom of ESPN. All is right with the world.
Arod booed at Dunedin, Florida for first spring training game, homers
I mean, he homered off a guy who'll be bagging groceries in a couple weeks. But still, it's progress. Plus, he decided to talk to the media after the game, which suprised me. I truly thought he was going to take the Bonds' road after the press conference last week and not answer any steroids questions. The one thing that continues to baffle me is that after the game, he was picked up in a truck by his cousin Yuri Sucart. The same cousin who he accused of convincing him of taking steroids and injecting him with them. There are two ways I can take that piece of information. Either he is sticking it to everyone by saying, "Look, that was part of my past. Yuri and I don't deal with that stuff anymore. He is still my cousin and I am not going to alienate him over some mistakes we've made". Or, he literally does not get it. He needs someone to pick him up and there is nothing odd with having the same cousin who dealt with steroids pick you up after a spring training game. From what we've seen of Arod over the past eight or nine years, I am guessing the latter is correct. There is something off about Rodriguez that is clear to the public but not clear to his public relations' handlers. Up until last week, he had never said or done the right thing. Madonna, opting out during the World Series, flip-flopping over the WBC, his divorce, being awful during the playoffs. I give him credit for coming half clean last week, but if he continues to deal with his cousin, he is going to have to answer some more questions.
Tiger returns to golf yesterday by winning first round in Accenture Match Play
Yes! I can watch golf again. I'm suprised that the golf going public isn't dead from holding their breath for eight months. Look, I enjoy golf. I even play it sometimes. When the weather gets good, my father and I go to the driving ranges or play a nine hole Par 3 golf course on Sundays. It's a lot of fun. But watching the damn sport when Tiger isn't involved is more boring than a leaky faucet. As soon as Tiger went down with that knee injury last summer, I forgot about the sport altogether. Sure, I saw the highlights on ESPN. For instance, I know that Irishman Padraig Harrington won two majors in Tiger's absense. However, I didn't see one of his putts, drives, approach shots, or even him holding up the trophy. In order for golf to truly have a constant television audience, more players need to reach Tiger's level of skill. Or he at least needs to have a worthy advisary. And you're not allowed to say that Phil Mickelson is one. Once a year he destroys the field, hitting every fifty-foot putt and stays on the fairway the entire tournament. But the other 361 days of the year, he's hacking away with a putter in the brush. There are a few young players who seem to be on the verge of being competitive with Woods, but until then, golf won't matter without Tiger.