Sean B. Fitzgerald It doesn’t go something like this, it goes exactly like this.

2010 NFL Season: Week 2

Week 1 Picks: 10-6

This season is going to be bitter-sweet for me. As you see, for my job, I am required to work every single event at the New Meadowlands Stadium. Including every Jets and Giants home games. Up until this season, I had attended two football games in my entire life. Now I will attend 16.

There's a reason I only attended 2. Because watching games at home is infinitely more enjoyable than watching one at the stadium. Lets discuss the advantages.

Seats: Advantage Home
I don't care where your tickets have you seated. I don't care if you're sitting in the God damn endzone. Nothing is more comfortable than sitting on your couch with a blanket over you while staring at an enormous HD television in your basement (if you're so lucky).

Food: Advantage Home
Want to pay $12 for a greasy, wet sausage and peppers hero? Or would you like to pause your television, mosey on over to your fridge and construct a 6 pound cold cut hoagie with all the trimmings? I thought so.

Transportation: Advantage Home
You know whats better than packing up the car, sitting in traffic, struggling to find parking, and risking potential dings and dents from unruly tailgaters? Not driving, that's what.

View: Advantage Home
"Was that a catch? Shit, freakin' jumbotron stopped showing the replay" vs. "Was that a catch? Let me just rewind here...yes. Yes it was a catch. How convenient!"

Alright, I'll stop. My case should be rested by now. Home > Stadium. Always and forever. The NFL is a terrific league, but adding benefits to the stadium experience should be on their to-do list. Right after they figure out how to treat concussions without reckless abandon resulting in half of their alumni becoming a bunch of Lou Gehrigs.

To summarize, sure it will be nice to see every Jets game live. But I'd much rather have my computer on my lap, microwaving my balls as I check my fantasy team, and flip through every single game on the docket (hoagie in hand).

Lets get to the games, shall we?

Falcons over Cardinals
Has any team suffered a more drastic reversal of fate than the Arizona Cardinals? And it's all because of of a change in the quarterback. The Matt Leinart Experiment was long, painful and now thankfully, over. Derek Anderson has taken over the reigns and now has the honor of over-throwing Larry Fitzgerald and crapping his pants in the pocket. Can I say the Falcons will win this going away? Yes, yes I can.

Bengals over Ravens
The conventional wisdom is this: The Bengals have two talented wide receivers (Chad Ochocinco, Terrell Owens). And the Ravens have a weak secondary. Ergo, Carson Palmer will exploit said secondary with said receivers resulting in unsaid win. This wisdom is something I can agree with. Especially since the Ravens are on a short week and are on the road.

Chiefs over Browns
Another gimme pick. Just look at the Browns roster. Not a pro-bowler among them. Except maybe Joe Thomas. But what good is a left tackle when what he's protecting is Jake Delhomme? It's like locking a turd in a safe. My guess is that Eric Mangini does last until the end of the season. This team is looking at historic ineptitude in my opinion. At least they'll have the first pick in the draft and potentially could choose a franchise changer like Jake Locker. Oh wait, we might be looking at a 2011 lockout due to a expiration of the current CBA. Holy crap, the Cleveland fans can't catch a break.

Cowboys over Bears
If Dallas doesn't win this game, ESPN might explode. There's no way "America's Team" can go 0-2 to start a year the majority of analysts picked for them to make it to the Super Bowl. I expect Coach Phillips to coach as if his job is on the line and let Romo and Co. let loose. It's going to be high-scoring, I guarantee it (not a guarantee). Also, the Bears are terrible. Don't let that phantom "win" over the Lions fool you.

Eagles over Lions
Well, it took a concussion, but Kevin Kolb will not be the starter for the Philadelphia Eagles for the rest of the year. That, I guarantee (also, not a guarantee). Michael Vick will make this team SO much better. Watching him last week, it was like he never got suspended for dog fighting, went to jail for 2 years and got reinstated by the Commissioner. He evaded pass-rushers, made quick throws, and was clearly still the fastest man on the field. Scary. He's Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook all at once. Eagle fans will soon for the name, Kevin Kolb. For now at least.

Packers over Bills
I want to get my word count up for this post, but anything I say regarding this game will be redundant. Watch: The Packers are still scary offensively without Ryan Grant. Aaron Rodgers is a top 5 quarterback who can carry a football team. The Bills are terrible. See? What a waste of words.

Titans over Steelers
Why does EVERYONE like the Steelers? I think I wrote about this last week, but I will continue to pick against Pittsburgh all season. I just don't see it. If they make it to the AFC Championship, I'll eat my words. But until then, I'll trust my instincts. Maybe it's the lack of Big Ben. Maybe it's the Dennis Dixoness of the team. It's something I don't like. God that was terrible reasoning. But it's just the way I feel.

Vikings over Dolphins
Sure, I hate Favre, but I'll take Favre over Henne any day. Especially at the Metrodome. Especially with a raucous, pissed-off Vikings fan base. That's all I need.

Panthers over Buccaneers
I really couldn't hate this game more. Ugh. It's awful. Did you know that the Buccaneers have two quarterbacks with the first name Josh? That may seem irrelevant to anything, but I feel it doesn't bode well for the future of the franchise. Anyway, no more from me on this game. I'm nodding off just thinking about it.

Seahawks over Broncos
I haven't the slightest clue why everyone, including myself, wrote off the Seahawks immediately at the beginning of the season. There was some sort of Group Think going on, and we all came to the conclusion that the 49ers were going to run away with the crummy NFC West. But take a closer look at the Seahawks. DO IT! They have a starting quarterback that has played in a Super Bowl. Two plus receivers in Deion Branch and Golden Tate. And a serviceable tight end and running back (John Carlson and Julius Jones, respectively).

Raiders over Rams
I was reminded the other day that the New England Patriots have the Oakland Raiders 2011 first round draft pick. My heart dropped. Which means we could easily see Mark Ingram walking onto the stage at Radio City Music Hall in April and being handed a New England Patriots hat while shaking Roger Goddell's hand. It's not something I'm looking forward to. So in an effort to combat such premonitions, I must root root root for the Raiders all season. I'm depressed already.

Jets over Patriots
There's no way the Jets win this game, right? I watched live as Shonn Greene sported Teflon hands, Antonio Cromartie set the defensive holding record, Brian Schottenheimer call ANOTHER running play, and the Ravens convert 10 to 15 3rd and long downs. We kind of all saw it coming too. Rex Ryan tooting the Jets horn all off-season, Hard Knocks, Darrelle Revis' contract situation, Cromartie, Jason Taylor, Santonio Holmes, LT. It was just too much. I still think New York will make the playoffs, but it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Chargers over Jaguars
It must really suck being a Chargers fan living in Southern California right now. Since San Diego is unable to sell the remaining 8,000 of their tickets, the game will be blacked-out in most of said area. Just another example of how fans enjoy watching the games at home. Why pay $1600 for 4 hours of football when you can sit on your ass at home and basically mimic the experience?

Redskins over Texans
I like the Redskins. I really do. I've always been a fan of Donovan McNabb. And Mike Shanahan for that matter. This team can easily win the NFC East. And it's about time those Texans fans come back down to Earth. That win over the Colts was nice, but not the end all. There are still 15 games left. And Arian Foster won't rush for 200+ yards in each.

Colts over Giants
It's the MANNING BOWL ROUND 2! HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! TAKE REFUGE! THIS IS WHERE IT WILL ALL BE DECIDED! IN WEEK 2! Hopefully both Mannings tweak something in their shoulder before the 8:15 Sunday night start and we'll all be forced to watch Sage Rosenfels battle Curtis Painter. God, that would be awesome.

Saints over 49ers
Are you kidding me?