Arod and Madonna make it official
Well not really. Arod and Madonna have long been rumored to be secretly working out or something for quite some time now. Now following the official announcement of Madonna's pending divorce from director Guy Ritchie, US Weekly tells us that Arod and Madonna are "definitely romantic". I literally shuddered when I typed that. This has been going on for a while now apparently. And to sum up the entire situation, I must quote the late Heath Ledger from his role in Ten Things I Hate About You:
"What is it with this chick? What does she have, beer flavored nipples or something?"
Seriously, what the hell is Arod doing. First off, he has more money that the gross national product of most countries in South America. He could get any woman he desires. Even though I get the sneaking suspiscion that he doesn't really "desire" women. But he chooses Madonna? According to her birth certificate she is 50 years old, but according to her face she died five years ago. Vanessa Rodriguez (Arod's Ex-Wife) was reached for comment regarding the relationship between Alex and Madonna:
"Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!"-Big Daddy
So before you know it, these two will be seen out in public and every single news outlet will use the same nickname for them. Like Bennifer or Brangelina. I thought I'd help them out by offering suggestions:
A-Mad
Mad Rod
Aronna
Anna
Malex
A-Man
Gross
Eh, that's all I got. Suggestions?
AHHHHHH!
Once again Alex Rodriguez has made a mockery of baseball, the Yankees, and being a man entirely. According the NY Post, A-Rod had a "dinner" date with injured New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.
"A-Rod, was running around the clubhouse asking everyone, 'Are we gonna play? Are we rained out? Are we postponed?' Every few minutes he'd come around and ask his teammates - or anyone else who was around - the same thing," according to one of the Herald's "spies." The game, which the Yankees won 19-8 to end the Red Sox's chance of winning the AL East, was played through a steady rain and was delayed another 31 minutes in the top of the fifth inning. "He was all excited," the Herald's "spy" said. "You know he's a big star (expletive) anyway and he was all worked up over his 'date' with Tommy."
Just another humiliating day as a Yankee fan. While Dustin Pedroia, Jonathan Papelbon, and the rest of the Boston Red Sox are busy defending their world series championship, the Yankees most talented player is fawning over the chance to snuggle and have "who gets to be the bigger spoon" fights with Tom Brady. After 12 years in the national spotlight, you'd think we'd have a gauge on who Arod actually is. But with each passing season, another creepy layer is revealed.
I know what you're thinking, "How come you're not ripping on Brady for having a date with Arod?" Two reasons. First of all, Tom Brady wasn't seen tickling himself over the chance to see Rodriguez. In a game no less. Brady probably is thinking, "Why not? I've got nothing else to do for the next 6 months." And second of all, Brady is a winner. When you win, crazy personal stuff is ignored, and sometimes revered. When people hear you study Kaballah and have an eerie, intimate relationship with Madonna, and you're a loser, they think you're a freak. If Tom Brady was pulling the same crap, people would say, "That must be his secret".
Ugh, only 9 more years of this...
Yankee Stadium
Today is the last regular season game at Yankee Stadium. I say 'regular season' because it's not over yet. There's a chance. Right?
Over my twenty years on this planet I've been to a countless number of games. Since I live only 25 minutes from the stadium, it's easy to get tickets, get in the car, and head on over to the stadium at a moments notice. I started going to games before I could remember. I know I did because there are pictures. Back before the Yankees were still in there Stump Merrill phase.
I've been to Yankee blowouts, opponent blowouts, nail-biters, extra innings games, rainouts, meaningless September games, and two playoff games.
My first playoff game was Game 2 of the 1996 American League Championship Series between the Yankees and the Orioles. The Yanks had won game 1 in dramatic fashion on a 11th inning Bernie Williams' walkoff homerun. I was nine years old at the time and even at that time I had been to many games. But nothing like this. It was obviously a different atmosphere. The year prior the Yankees lost a heart breaking ALDS to the Seattle Mariners. A series in which they led 2 games to none. So as expected, the fans were amped up to even make it a series further in this year.
I went with my dad and we didn't have the greatest of seats. Upper deck right field side by the foul pole. The section where Giambi hit's 100% of his homeruns. And if you've been to any baseball, football, basketball, soccer, cricket, hockey, NASCAR, golf event, the further you get from the field in the stands, the uglier, drunker, stupider the fans are. And we had some winners around us. But that goes for any Yankee game.
The Yankees ended up losing that game. The only game they would lose in the series. I was disappointed, but just happy I was able to attend a playoff game in the year the Yanks won the series.
Probably, my fondest memory of Yankee Stadium is when I went to a game on May 17, 1998. To be honest, that day, I did not want to go. One of my little league games had been rescheduled to that day. So I played third base for the first three innings, then my dad took me out to go the game with my whole family. At that time, I'd rather play third base for my team and lose than go to a Yankee game.
The game started innocuous enough, at most games do. Our seats were field level by the left field foul pole. As the game progressed me and my father began to look at eachother because we both knew what was happening. My sister and mom, not so much. They whined and complained that it was too hot, the seats were uncomfortable and the people were obnoxious. They were ready to leave in the 6th. Trying his best to avoid mentioning the situation, my dad explained that we could be watching history. He told my mom that we would leave after the next Twins' hit. She agreed.
6th inning. 7th inning. 8th inning all coasted by without a whiff of a hit, and still not a baserunner.. Even at this moment my mom and sister knew what was going on. They had watched enough baseball to know this doesn't happen everyday. Top of the ninth. 26 Twins' up to the plate. All 26 back to the bench. The final out was a fly out to Paul O'Neill. The Yankees celebrated. We celebrated.
I'll miss Yankee Stadium. But I guess, not at much as other people. In the end, it is just a structure. A place where games are played. A place where moments occur. We may not have Yankee Stadium forever, but we will will have the moments.
Headlines…
Angels clinch division
Against the Yankees no less. The team which balls they've had in a vice grip for the better part of a decade. And speaking of the Yankees. It's going to be fun getting all this dead weight off the roster after this year. I honestly don't care if they performed or not. Giambi, Pettitte, Mussina, Abreu, and Pavano should all go. But I digress.
Truck champ Hornaday admits using testosterone
He better have used in order to "extend his life" or for his health, because I'm almost positive there is no advantage to using steroids while driving a truck. I guess you can look in the rearview mirror faster or change gears with more aggression.
Hurricane Ike postpones Texas/Arkansas game on Saturday
Hurricanes are postponing games left, right, and center. It's like they've become a big part of college football. And it's only a matter of time before companies sponsor them. "Today's game between the Longhorns of Texas and the Razorbacks of Arkansas has been postponed by Hurricane Freecreditreport.com."
USC/Ohio State game dubbed "Collision in Coliseum" by ESPN
Only the Worldwide Leader could cheapen an important college football game. I'm afraid to watch the game because I don't want ESPN to have the satisfaction of another viewer. Anyway, I'm still up in there air about how the game will turn out. THE Ohio State University may have kept Ohio U. in the game last week, but they will tighten the screws for this one. My prediction, it will stay close for three quarters, then USC will score twice successfully in the fourth and put the game out of reach.
Remember, we’re in the Itchy lot…

As you were deep in your REM cycle, somewhere far far away, Olympics!
I mean, I care a little about the Olympics. Maybe the track and field, or the basketball. But other than that, nothing. I want ot write more about it, but I've got nothing. The olympics are boring.

Favre happy to be a Jet, we think.
The picture says it all. He didn't even try to act enthused about being in New York. When he said things like "I'll always be a Packer" or "I would rather be in the NFC North", I got the feeling like he'd rather be a Packer or at least in the NFC North.
If Pennington goes to the Dolphins this could get interesting. Pennington was probably the best teammate who has ever lived. And the Jets did the right thing by releasing him. But if he beats Favre and the Jets as a Dolphin in game 1, Favre might be dead before game 2.

Ian Kennedy will start against the Angels tonight
What time is it? 11:00am? I don't think I can hold my breath until 10:00pm. Us Yankees' fans have been waiting since September of last year to see this "prospect" pitch well. I'll never trust pitchers who rely on location and guile, as he was described in many columns. He doesn't throw hard and he doesn't have desvastating breaking pitches. So if he doesn't hit his spots, the ball might land in the Pacific.

